messed up

so since i resigned, i have been enjoying life, waking up at 10 or 11, doing nth, just relaxing. but it's starting to worry me, why? cz i haven't got any offer at all for sure. all i get is empty promises. act it was very risky Wat i did. just leaving without getting any offer. and it's starting to worry me. when i wanted a job, or even a phone call for interview, i did not get it. i waited and waited and waited, but nth came in. then when i decide to resign and take a break, i get an offer, (i dunno if it's an offer). or lets just say an opportunity, and i agreed, so before confirming anything, i thought bout it properly, and threw in my letter of resignation. when i am waiting patiently again for a confirmation from this job which i want, i get calls from banks, offering me a post, and willing to negotiate with me. call me desperately until they even call my house phone when they cant get me on hp. to ask me to come for an interview right now. and when i told them day before i duwan sales, he said operation no place, but today he said we can discuss on putting u in operation and its a non sales post. but i turned it down!!!!!. all because i am waiting for the answer from smth i want.! i emailed him today, no reply, i what's apped him ,no reply. sigh. maybe i should give him the benefit of the doubt. as they did tell me they r super busy this week. but i cant stop but wonder if its just another empty promise. i am scared. i dunno whats my future. it's all so messed up, and i dun have a job now. i am jobless, no money, cashless..i really don't know what to do now!... everything is so foggy. i went to see him the other day., he seemed promising, but why so long to reply.. i should give him the benefit of the doubt, but aaarghhhhhh.. this is killing me!!!!!! Lord, please show me light, please show me the way!..

phew, on another side, just wondering how some can afford to go for so many holidays in such a short time. hmmm, and how they can have so many days leave. don't they save? i keep wondering. one holiday for me burns my pocket. what more a few in 2-3 months. and if ur going to some expensive holiday, wauuuuu. i wouldn't want to think of whats going to happen to my financial situation. but then again, it's not me, so why bother right? as long as i know, i don't do that, and i save, and my bf has a strong head on his shoulder, to know what is right and wrong, when to spend, how to save, i think that's most important. and prioritize.

ok back to my messy life, i am supposed to go to kl and start owrk in june. june 1st. thats like 1 week pus, but what if i dun get any offer now, and on 31st only they tell me to go kl, omgg???? i am scared that will happen. sigh. so worrying. i think i need to apply other jobs too. since i know i am goign to work in kl, i will just do it. apply other place.s if you cant give me an answer, too bad, bye. i already made a lot of mistakes, for instance, rejecting all the jobs which i got now. without even having any offer. so i cant afford to do it again. so tonight project is to type cover letters and prepare my resume and certs.

there was smth else i wanted to blog, but i kinda forgot. so when i do remember i will blog.

back to pvz survival.okthnxbai(ok i find this phase dam the farnie) me and sos r usign it often now. ahahahahaha. okthnxbai

boo