i am feeling very tired... to a point i don't know what i am doing.. where i am heading.. i am tired that i just don't want to wake up every morning.. every day every minute i am thinking bout it..i am like hanging on a very thin string... and i feel it's going to snap any moment.. i am almost falling off. no i almost fell, but i held myself up and tried to stand on the string again... and i feel i am going to fall off. i am tired of hanging on to it.. can i just drop off??
dinner tonight is instant noodles, lunch tomorrow is tuna sandwich. dinner tomorrow is instant noodles, and lunch on Friday is prob sandwich again.. and dinner on Friday is in swiss garden.. noticed the patheticness these 2 days??yeah i'm broke:(....had to spend a lot this 2 weeks.. some are worth it. some are totally not!!!!that's why i am annoyed..
what to do?i reallly feel like just throwing everything..literally and metaphorically.
someone, tell me what to do.!
Wednesday 28 April 2010
Sunday 25 April 2010
everything jumbled up:)
hi, so lots things going on, where to start? hmmm...
situation #1: piles is back:(... had a massive attack on Thursday morning. i never shat so so so much of blood. it was scary. i myself felt scared seeing the blood jut flow down. and my shit was my hair color.brown + red:(.. and i shat mini intestines(hardened blood)lol. and when i wiped my ass, it was blood. like period. told ky. insisted i go A&E get a consult from doctor there. so i went to Seri Manjung hospital, and was attended by 5 pervert houseman. trust me. perverts...desperate and not professional. asking me to introduce pretty girls to them, and asking hows my relationship with my bf... and plan a gathering with my hot chick friends. and saying he's not racist, they don't mind any race... gosh. told ky..anyways they gave me some stuff to stick up my ass.. which is a shape of bullet. kinda uncomfortable. it'll melt after a while. next day, all powder on ur underwear. hahaha. sorry bit too much info yeah?so my diet is under control now...
situation #2: it's finalized that we are going to perform in UCSI on may 8th. :)..
situation #3: went to kl yesterday to pack up my stuff.. see aunty leela and shop a bit. good news: bought it..:)...bought a bag:) and a pair of shorts:).. bad news: aunty's condition is not getting better. she doesn't even wanna look at my mom. think she's never gonna get better. sigh... neutral news: i WANT TO GO TO CHARLES AND KEITH. BUY SHOES. OMGGG THE SHOES ARE SO NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.every pair i looked at had a class of it's own...wanna buy wanna buy..wannnnnna buy!!!!!!not every pair, but at least one pair la:D...
situation #4: Steven wants a pup.. so tomorrow we are coming back after work. dad's workshop got. he want's it:)..
situation #5: it's Monday tomorrow. urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
situation #6: so random ady signs off. meanwhile enjoy some random pics here and there...
till then..
situation #1: piles is back:(... had a massive attack on Thursday morning. i never shat so so so much of blood. it was scary. i myself felt scared seeing the blood jut flow down. and my shit was my hair color.brown + red:(.. and i shat mini intestines(hardened blood)lol. and when i wiped my ass, it was blood. like period. told ky. insisted i go A&E get a consult from doctor there. so i went to Seri Manjung hospital, and was attended by 5 pervert houseman. trust me. perverts...desperate and not professional. asking me to introduce pretty girls to them, and asking hows my relationship with my bf... and plan a gathering with my hot chick friends. and saying he's not racist, they don't mind any race... gosh. told ky..anyways they gave me some stuff to stick up my ass.. which is a shape of bullet. kinda uncomfortable. it'll melt after a while. next day, all powder on ur underwear. hahaha. sorry bit too much info yeah?so my diet is under control now...
situation #2: it's finalized that we are going to perform in UCSI on may 8th. :)..
situation #3: went to kl yesterday to pack up my stuff.. see aunty leela and shop a bit. good news: bought it..:)...bought a bag:) and a pair of shorts:).. bad news: aunty's condition is not getting better. she doesn't even wanna look at my mom. think she's never gonna get better. sigh... neutral news: i WANT TO GO TO CHARLES AND KEITH. BUY SHOES. OMGGG THE SHOES ARE SO NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.every pair i looked at had a class of it's own...wanna buy wanna buy..wannnnnna buy!!!!!!not every pair, but at least one pair la:D...
situation #4: Steven wants a pup.. so tomorrow we are coming back after work. dad's workshop got. he want's it:)..
situation #5: it's Monday tomorrow. urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
situation #6: so random ady signs off. meanwhile enjoy some random pics here and there...
till then..
Tuesday 20 April 2010
i must get it
though i don't use it, but i am starting to fall in love with it. no her!!!!:D.. i must get it!
empty promises
if you can't, then don't.
if you wont, then don't.
if you're not interested, don't promise.
if you feel it's bullshit, tell me and go away.
don't tell me u can, you will, and you don.t and say you can't.
i might be very sensitive, that's why i am not cut out for this..
i feel disappointed, not because i want to, but i cant help it..
i feel sad when all this happens, and i don't know what to do..
if you wont, then don't.
if you're not interested, don't promise.
if you feel it's bullshit, tell me and go away.
don't tell me u can, you will, and you don.t and say you can't.
i might be very sensitive, that's why i am not cut out for this..
i feel disappointed, not because i want to, but i cant help it..
i feel sad when all this happens, and i don't know what to do..
Monday 19 April 2010
sweet nothings:)
was just thinking back of how everything started..how we met on Christmas day in church. my first impression was his tie of course... but we din have chemistry..just chat. that afternoon i was going down to ipoh.. before i left church, he asked me for my fb address.. i went home, straight away he added me. but i din think of anything..the next day he sends me a msg on fb, and i can remember if he gives me his msn add or asks for mine.. but we started chatting on msn... i remember it was a sunday evening.. and he was on call.cz i was asking him how come he can online in hospital. and he said, ".....heard of mobile broadband "..or smth lik that.. so we chat, and i told him brb, cz dad bought ckt.. and we started talking bout the best ckt in town...sungai nibong. and i casually or jokingly said, "next time we go makan together"..i had to leave that evening, so i gave him my number. asked him to mc me..and every day, or morning, he would send me mms pictures like 2 cups of coffee, or sun flowers.. representing a beautiful morning..or cute pictures la... kinda every day.. but then i refused to admit anything... till one evening, in work, i get a msg from him, asking me to go makan ckt. i thought he wasnt serious when i told him.. but he did..and it took me 2 days to get back to him bout ckt.. and i remember, when he asked me next was smth like: "hey,i din know it takes up so much of ur brain to decide on ckt"..smth lik that la. cant remember...then i told him ok. but honestly i was dam shocked to get tha msg.
ok, first date... no chemistry AT ALL. and i went home feeling nothing. and vice versa... he told me later too:P..
2nd date, he asked me bout avatar the movie. isaid i havent watched. heard its good... then he said yeah he heard it's good too. then he asked me when i was coming back, when i told him that friday. he asked me if i would wanan watch.. but i couldnt give him an answer, because my colleagues were suppose to come down ti to makan that night.. soi told him wait first... friends cancelled plans, so i got back to him, and said why not?since i havent watch movie for dam long too. he said ok, and said we can do dinner before movie:)..he bought tickets:)we went for curry mee, he picked me up.. and it was that 2nd date, i felt bit dif from the first. but mom and sis kept saying there's smth. but i refused to admit...i dun wanna perasan la.. that day went well. we talked quite a lot..
3rd date: George town..i was leaving for krabi the next day.. he asked me to go fro dinner.. on Wednesday night. he picked me up.. and it was then i started to have feelings. i remember i was having some problems, and he listened, and it felt so nice telling him.. (mind u, though 3 dates, but we were already keeping in touch every day. not much but every day)...oh wait, i think before that, he was on call. but we were sms ing. and we had this get-to-know-ady-and ky quiz... and he called me for the first time, and we talked on phone;)...)
i was excited to go krabi, but this just popped up, and i kinda felt sad cz i would be away for 2 days, no Digi coverage to contact him... and before i boarded the plane, i text-ed him, and he replied saying, "ok safe journey. missing you already". i couldn't help but smile when i read those msgs. in krabi, i was msg-ing him.. sis had a Thai sim:)..i kept the phone. sis knew... he-he... and i realized there was smth happening. he called me from msia to talk to me on the last night i was there. talk for dam long. i told him its ex, he said its ok..i reached msia, he was the first to greet me..as in sms la.:).and the next day i had NSC in sunway...it was then when he sms ed me saying he loves me for the very first time...i remember i talked to him that night. and i already said i was going to sleep. and he sms es me and i quote, "sweet dreams. love ya=). god bless"... i thought i read it wrongly, i re read it again and again. next morning, was too excited, showed Chloe. hahaha.
i came back, and we were already kinda close, and he said he was on leave on Thurs, and would come down to sitiawan to find me.... we both were really looking forward to that night.. it was an exciting memorable night... because that night marks our first day together. he brought sun flowers for me.. though he did not ask me officially, and just held my hands, but i guess he made up for it by the flowers.:)..21st January 2010:)..i love you..
we went to ipoh first time the following weekend. great weekend. and though today when i type this, we have passed that mushi mushi lovey dovey stage. but our relationship is getting stronger day by day. i do miss that few weeks ... but life is not bout that.... we are still getting to know each other a lot... and i realized, he's a great guy.. and sometimes, ( no most of time) i doubt myself, because i am not good for him.. till now, i always feel, i am not good enough for him. and i am trying to work on my flaws...sometimes, i can be so annoying, and sensitive, and think too much... but i don't want to think bout it.. but just work on it...
its a journey both of us are going to continue walking together with Him holding both of us. he always tells me, "everything that happens, we go through it together". "we find solution for it". i realized, it's no more 'I'. it's 'we'...i am sorry if i always make u sad by snapping and sulking....i am working on it. i know i am no where near ur ideal gf...but i am trying to be, not ur ideal gf, but trying to work on my flaws, and want u to accept me for who i am... i cant change over night... but i will eventually... with His help and support from Him and you..
ok, it's 12.22am, and i got to wake up at 545am. i suddenly thought bout all this, and how much i still can smile when i think back of all this sweet nothings:)..so i needed to tell someone how i feel...ok good night for real. byee..
ok, first date... no chemistry AT ALL. and i went home feeling nothing. and vice versa... he told me later too:P..
2nd date, he asked me bout avatar the movie. isaid i havent watched. heard its good... then he said yeah he heard it's good too. then he asked me when i was coming back, when i told him that friday. he asked me if i would wanan watch.. but i couldnt give him an answer, because my colleagues were suppose to come down ti to makan that night.. soi told him wait first... friends cancelled plans, so i got back to him, and said why not?since i havent watch movie for dam long too. he said ok, and said we can do dinner before movie:)..he bought tickets:)we went for curry mee, he picked me up.. and it was that 2nd date, i felt bit dif from the first. but mom and sis kept saying there's smth. but i refused to admit...i dun wanna perasan la.. that day went well. we talked quite a lot..
3rd date: George town..i was leaving for krabi the next day.. he asked me to go fro dinner.. on Wednesday night. he picked me up.. and it was then i started to have feelings. i remember i was having some problems, and he listened, and it felt so nice telling him.. (mind u, though 3 dates, but we were already keeping in touch every day. not much but every day)...oh wait, i think before that, he was on call. but we were sms ing. and we had this get-to-know-ady-and ky quiz... and he called me for the first time, and we talked on phone;)...)
i was excited to go krabi, but this just popped up, and i kinda felt sad cz i would be away for 2 days, no Digi coverage to contact him... and before i boarded the plane, i text-ed him, and he replied saying, "ok safe journey. missing you already". i couldn't help but smile when i read those msgs. in krabi, i was msg-ing him.. sis had a Thai sim:)..i kept the phone. sis knew... he-he... and i realized there was smth happening. he called me from msia to talk to me on the last night i was there. talk for dam long. i told him its ex, he said its ok..i reached msia, he was the first to greet me..as in sms la.:).and the next day i had NSC in sunway...it was then when he sms ed me saying he loves me for the very first time...i remember i talked to him that night. and i already said i was going to sleep. and he sms es me and i quote, "sweet dreams. love ya=). god bless"... i thought i read it wrongly, i re read it again and again. next morning, was too excited, showed Chloe. hahaha.
i came back, and we were already kinda close, and he said he was on leave on Thurs, and would come down to sitiawan to find me.... we both were really looking forward to that night.. it was an exciting memorable night... because that night marks our first day together. he brought sun flowers for me.. though he did not ask me officially, and just held my hands, but i guess he made up for it by the flowers.:)..21st January 2010:)..i love you..
we went to ipoh first time the following weekend. great weekend. and though today when i type this, we have passed that mushi mushi lovey dovey stage. but our relationship is getting stronger day by day. i do miss that few weeks ... but life is not bout that.... we are still getting to know each other a lot... and i realized, he's a great guy.. and sometimes, ( no most of time) i doubt myself, because i am not good for him.. till now, i always feel, i am not good enough for him. and i am trying to work on my flaws...sometimes, i can be so annoying, and sensitive, and think too much... but i don't want to think bout it.. but just work on it...
its a journey both of us are going to continue walking together with Him holding both of us. he always tells me, "everything that happens, we go through it together". "we find solution for it". i realized, it's no more 'I'. it's 'we'...i am sorry if i always make u sad by snapping and sulking....i am working on it. i know i am no where near ur ideal gf...but i am trying to be, not ur ideal gf, but trying to work on my flaws, and want u to accept me for who i am... i cant change over night... but i will eventually... with His help and support from Him and you..
ok, it's 12.22am, and i got to wake up at 545am. i suddenly thought bout all this, and how much i still can smile when i think back of all this sweet nothings:)..so i needed to tell someone how i feel...ok good night for real. byee..
where to buy?
do you know where to buy......????i mean i know where to buy, but i dunno if got or not. imagine i go and see, don't have how.. i dunno how to buy online... and scared they cheat me.how r how r???i am set on buying it:D:D:D..
tuesday blues:(
today i am whining because tomorrow is work!!!:(...but it's only 4 days:)
happy tuesday:)
happy tuesday:)
Sunday 18 April 2010
parents are back. they bought me ck euphoria blossom. omggg.. it's so nice. now me and ky can wear matching. mine is euphoria blossom, his is euphoria for men:)...then loads of chocs and liqueur:)..dad bought me the huge absolute pear:)...and few mini bottles:P...
anyways, just now during lunch, i asked ky if he prefer to go langkawi instead of penang... then he said stick to plan lo. go penang.. but i felt bit sad when he said this.. cz it's his birthday ma.. and my plan was to take him for a nice trip, just the 2 of us.. go enjoy and chill. then he jokingly said, "actually the best birthday gift would be sleeping the whole day.. i would really like it if i can just sleep the whole day. that would be a great gift". then i felt kinda sad, cz i was planning this whole trip, to surprise him..i totally understand tat he doesn't get much sleep due to his shift work and even if they do, their one day at work is enough to drain them. i know.. it did strike me maybe to cancel the trip. .so he can rest properly that weekend. but i kinda already booked hotel.. maybe i will just cancel the 21st night plans la. cz my initial plan was to do smth on 21st, then 22nd early morning take a slow drive up to penang, chill there, go eat, take loads of pics, check in, go jalan, then night go pasar malam, then next day go around la... but now maybe just go to penang on 22nd lo.. then at least 21st he can rest, nap properly and maybe study.since weekend he wont be with his books much. and not much rest..then he doesn't have to worry bout changing shift. in case that night he is afternoon shift.. because of me, he has to change to morning. so at least if i dun plan anything, morning or afternoon will be ok with him. oh well, his priorities are his studies... and i don't want to get in between it.. and if he needs more rest so he can stay focused and study more, then i will support him. i totally understand and i am not angry.. just felt bit sad that i couldn't make it as special as i planned.. but oh well, it's just me being sensitive...AGAIN. so i don't want to think bout it. but guess i have decided to just cancel 21st plans, and go on 22nd... anyways going to continue some stuff now.. will catch up tomorrow... or maybe later:D...just in case you overlooked my previous blog post, i wanna remind all of you, TOMORROW IS A PUBLIC HOLIDAY FOR PERAK. hehehehhe... at this moment, i am so grateful to be working in perak.lolololol.
signing off:
random ady..
p/s: after coming back langkawi, mom asked me if i would be interested in joining the airlines. thought once upon a time she was against it?lololol... but i told my mom it's not possible. because even if i leave my current job now, i will not go into airlines. and it will be a challenge for me and ky.. and i don't want that.
anyways, just now during lunch, i asked ky if he prefer to go langkawi instead of penang... then he said stick to plan lo. go penang.. but i felt bit sad when he said this.. cz it's his birthday ma.. and my plan was to take him for a nice trip, just the 2 of us.. go enjoy and chill. then he jokingly said, "actually the best birthday gift would be sleeping the whole day.. i would really like it if i can just sleep the whole day. that would be a great gift". then i felt kinda sad, cz i was planning this whole trip, to surprise him..i totally understand tat he doesn't get much sleep due to his shift work and even if they do, their one day at work is enough to drain them. i know.. it did strike me maybe to cancel the trip. .so he can rest properly that weekend. but i kinda already booked hotel.. maybe i will just cancel the 21st night plans la. cz my initial plan was to do smth on 21st, then 22nd early morning take a slow drive up to penang, chill there, go eat, take loads of pics, check in, go jalan, then night go pasar malam, then next day go around la... but now maybe just go to penang on 22nd lo.. then at least 21st he can rest, nap properly and maybe study.since weekend he wont be with his books much. and not much rest..then he doesn't have to worry bout changing shift. in case that night he is afternoon shift.. because of me, he has to change to morning. so at least if i dun plan anything, morning or afternoon will be ok with him. oh well, his priorities are his studies... and i don't want to get in between it.. and if he needs more rest so he can stay focused and study more, then i will support him. i totally understand and i am not angry.. just felt bit sad that i couldn't make it as special as i planned.. but oh well, it's just me being sensitive...AGAIN. so i don't want to think bout it. but guess i have decided to just cancel 21st plans, and go on 22nd... anyways going to continue some stuff now.. will catch up tomorrow... or maybe later:D...just in case you overlooked my previous blog post, i wanna remind all of you, TOMORROW IS A PUBLIC HOLIDAY FOR PERAK. hehehehhe... at this moment, i am so grateful to be working in perak.lolololol.
signing off:
random ady..
p/s: after coming back langkawi, mom asked me if i would be interested in joining the airlines. thought once upon a time she was against it?lololol... but i told my mom it's not possible. because even if i leave my current job now, i will not go into airlines. and it will be a challenge for me and ky.. and i don't want that.
long weekend
parents went to langkawi for the 30th anniversary. we(me, sis and Chris) sponsored them a trip as a gift:)..i stayed back, baby sitting my brothers and sisters. oh my... now i know how tiring it is. especially Isaac. he misses mummy. poor boy. never eat much.. vomit yesterday.. moping whole day. duwan drink water. sigh.. good parents coming back today....was home alone. but luckily it wasn't so bad at all cz ky kept me company most of time:)..
it's a holiday tomorrow:D..sultan of Perak's birthday. yay... happy birthday sultan:P,lolololololool...nobody loves Mondays. and it's a holiday tomorrow.not doing anything much. chill at home. knit, catch up with mummy.. oh my, i miss mum's coffee so badly. i made coffee once on Friday morning, and trust me, it was baddddd!!!dunno why i cant make good cup of coffee:(...that was the last i had coffee. so am looking forward to tomorrow morning..:). mom cancelled all her tuition:)..
ky's on leave Tuesday Wednesday Thursday...yayyy.. why yay?cz #1) he has more time to catch up on his books and sleep:) #2: he has more time to spend with me.(though i am in sitiawan) but at least we can sms more:). #3: he gets to go for baddy and gym on Tuesday evening, Wednesday evening and Thursday evening.. #4: he's coming down to sitiawan to find me for dinner.. day not confirmed, cz if he comes on Tuesday, will be with inder and promila( promila is priya's sister and inder is her husband).. all houseman together with ky. same department now.. if they don't come on Tuesday, then ky will come on Wednesday...:)
me and ky were having this conversation yesterday night bout guys ego.. and he asked me if he had high ego. i said no..in terms of relationship. ky doesn't have ego... and i believe, if it's my mistake, i will say sorry.. and make up to it... if he is wrong, he will. and it's good. and i quoted a situation bout a guy who did not care bout his gf in the rain, at night alone in bangsar... instead of running together, he walks and runs ahead of the girl to protect himself.. and ky said this really sweet thing, which he act did before. "why get wet together??i get wet, run to car, and drive and come pick you up la. why must u get wet?one person get wet enough."..when we went to ipoh the first time, it started raining heavily... very heavy.. and our car was in one corner... i told ky we get umbrella, go together. he refused.. he took umbrella told me wait and he got wet, went to car, drove and picked me up... sweet guy... not like some MCP who think male species are so great... can't stand them..!!
anyways, remember back then, i blogged bout this irritating guy i met in fastrac, who was chasing me... after like 3 months after fastrac, only he contacted me??and started saying he loves me. ask me give him a chance???rings a bell??well i did blog bout it.. anyways, i rejected him. firstly, not my type. 2ND: dun speak proper English. 3rd: annoying guy.. after that, i met ky.. and things bloomed between us.. he saw my picture with ky.. and was dam sarcastic by saying things like "wah ur new bf?so fast." or " wish u both have good luck la". that was a dam sarcastic remark okay? i can read ppl very well. then today, ( now, at 11.05am, 18th April 2010) he clicks me on msn, asking me, "hi".. and after i say hi back, he ask me, "when are u getting married?". and i replied, "huh?" and you know what he replied, "now you got bf ma, so need to get married la....so soon"....wtf???then i replied back, "why so sarcastic???i got bf, but doesn't mean i must get married now". then he replies: "dunno you ma... so fast got bf, so thought u fast fast also marry. besides, your growing old dy". i just din reply., stupid children. immature little boy... saw looser. u can't get me... that's your problem... dam irritating. grow up la... can't stand all this people... sigh.
anyways, i am going to continue knitting ady.. she's longer now:)..prettier. day by day.lololololo..(i am talking of the muffler, ady, not Adelle soo).. but even Adelle soo is pretty:D)ok lunch with Stephanie and ky later:)..see u folks soon. have a blessed Sunday.xoxo.
til lthen. ciao:)
it's a holiday tomorrow:D..sultan of Perak's birthday. yay... happy birthday sultan:P,lolololololool...nobody loves Mondays. and it's a holiday tomorrow.not doing anything much. chill at home. knit, catch up with mummy.. oh my, i miss mum's coffee so badly. i made coffee once on Friday morning, and trust me, it was baddddd!!!dunno why i cant make good cup of coffee:(...that was the last i had coffee. so am looking forward to tomorrow morning..:). mom cancelled all her tuition:)..
ky's on leave Tuesday Wednesday Thursday...yayyy.. why yay?cz #1) he has more time to catch up on his books and sleep:) #2: he has more time to spend with me.(though i am in sitiawan) but at least we can sms more:). #3: he gets to go for baddy and gym on Tuesday evening, Wednesday evening and Thursday evening.. #4: he's coming down to sitiawan to find me for dinner.. day not confirmed, cz if he comes on Tuesday, will be with inder and promila( promila is priya's sister and inder is her husband).. all houseman together with ky. same department now.. if they don't come on Tuesday, then ky will come on Wednesday...:)
me and ky were having this conversation yesterday night bout guys ego.. and he asked me if he had high ego. i said no..in terms of relationship. ky doesn't have ego... and i believe, if it's my mistake, i will say sorry.. and make up to it... if he is wrong, he will. and it's good. and i quoted a situation bout a guy who did not care bout his gf in the rain, at night alone in bangsar... instead of running together, he walks and runs ahead of the girl to protect himself.. and ky said this really sweet thing, which he act did before. "why get wet together??i get wet, run to car, and drive and come pick you up la. why must u get wet?one person get wet enough."..when we went to ipoh the first time, it started raining heavily... very heavy.. and our car was in one corner... i told ky we get umbrella, go together. he refused.. he took umbrella told me wait and he got wet, went to car, drove and picked me up... sweet guy... not like some MCP who think male species are so great... can't stand them..!!
anyways, remember back then, i blogged bout this irritating guy i met in fastrac, who was chasing me... after like 3 months after fastrac, only he contacted me??and started saying he loves me. ask me give him a chance???rings a bell??well i did blog bout it.. anyways, i rejected him. firstly, not my type. 2ND: dun speak proper English. 3rd: annoying guy.. after that, i met ky.. and things bloomed between us.. he saw my picture with ky.. and was dam sarcastic by saying things like "wah ur new bf?so fast." or " wish u both have good luck la". that was a dam sarcastic remark okay? i can read ppl very well. then today, ( now, at 11.05am, 18th April 2010) he clicks me on msn, asking me, "hi".. and after i say hi back, he ask me, "when are u getting married?". and i replied, "huh?" and you know what he replied, "now you got bf ma, so need to get married la....so soon"....wtf???then i replied back, "why so sarcastic???i got bf, but doesn't mean i must get married now". then he replies: "dunno you ma... so fast got bf, so thought u fast fast also marry. besides, your growing old dy". i just din reply., stupid children. immature little boy... saw looser. u can't get me... that's your problem... dam irritating. grow up la... can't stand all this people... sigh.
anyways, i am going to continue knitting ady.. she's longer now:)..prettier. day by day.lololololo..(i am talking of the muffler, ady, not Adelle soo).. but even Adelle soo is pretty:D)ok lunch with Stephanie and ky later:)..see u folks soon. have a blessed Sunday.xoxo.
til lthen. ciao:)
Wednesday 14 April 2010
today backside hole so pain. sigh. piles is back..;(..cant even walk properly:(...
it's Thursday. am going back tomorrow. on leave on Friday:)
wonders why the people are like that. know how to do it, but never tell us. take care of themselves only. why i care so much for everyone???is it even worth it???
bought another palette eye shadow. purple carer:D:D:D... and a nice top.lolololol. pics will be soon okay?
i have so many things to say during the day. but when i come to blog, i don't feel like typing. so lazy.
it's Thursday. am going back tomorrow. on leave on Friday:)
wonders why the people are like that. know how to do it, but never tell us. take care of themselves only. why i care so much for everyone???is it even worth it???
bought another palette eye shadow. purple carer:D:D:D... and a nice top.lolololol. pics will be soon okay?
i have so many things to say during the day. but when i come to blog, i don't feel like typing. so lazy.
Tuesday 13 April 2010
terasa
adalah..terasa sikit. tapi biar je la..
anyways, closed a case today.xiang's case..gotta keep working hard.....
good night.
anyways, closed a case today.xiang's case..gotta keep working hard.....
good night.
Friday 9 April 2010
long day
i had sales clinic in ipoh today..went alone. Susan did not want to go.. orange on mc. serene went in morning. glad i went...
Evonne commented on my hair. saying it's too red. after clinic, she talked to me and said she noticed i am not focused. and if i am having any problems.. i told her and hew everything.... and i broke down...i told them how i feel, felt and what i feel like doing and don't feel like doing.. they were very supportive... and knew i was really upset. and Evonne said this, "i know my girl wont go and dye her hair red for no reason...".which is actually quite true.. i always meddle with my hair when i am stressed and tired.dunno why but i noticed all my weird hair do were when i was stressed..and when i told them i wanna give up, they said "you will not give up on me, because your a fighter.we knew it from day 1 and you're going to go for 'smart sell'." i laughed at that idea, but Evonne said i am almost there, and she wants me to go for it... i need to hit 23 more case, and i can go for it... i have 37 cases. from last year... thats a good motivation.. but i dunno if its possible. but i am going to try.and give my best shot in closing more case. and i am going to make an impact in people's life. and tell them how important to have insurance and how by just paying rm175, we give your family rm450k when you migrate to China...just by paying rm175 monthly. think bout it:)..
am hungry... dad buying tomyam beehun.yayyyy!:)..
Evonne commented on my hair. saying it's too red. after clinic, she talked to me and said she noticed i am not focused. and if i am having any problems.. i told her and hew everything.... and i broke down...i told them how i feel, felt and what i feel like doing and don't feel like doing.. they were very supportive... and knew i was really upset. and Evonne said this, "i know my girl wont go and dye her hair red for no reason...".which is actually quite true.. i always meddle with my hair when i am stressed and tired.dunno why but i noticed all my weird hair do were when i was stressed..and when i told them i wanna give up, they said "you will not give up on me, because your a fighter.we knew it from day 1 and you're going to go for 'smart sell'." i laughed at that idea, but Evonne said i am almost there, and she wants me to go for it... i need to hit 23 more case, and i can go for it... i have 37 cases. from last year... thats a good motivation.. but i dunno if its possible. but i am going to try.and give my best shot in closing more case. and i am going to make an impact in people's life. and tell them how important to have insurance and how by just paying rm175, we give your family rm450k when you migrate to China...just by paying rm175 monthly. think bout it:)..
am hungry... dad buying tomyam beehun.yayyyy!:)..
Thursday 8 April 2010
clean up the environment
If we want to be rid of verbal pollution, we must choose to change and ask for God’s help. It’s a great way to start cleaning up our spiritual environment. — Joanie Yoder
nobody knows but me!
8 months of working. yesterday i finally broke down...i have been controlling my feelings..controlling everything... and something triggered it off, and i couldn't take it... i did not want to break down, but i had to...nobody knows how i feel..and it hurts.. it's tiring.. it's stressful. how long more. i keep asking myself..but i cant seem to find an answer to it..i'm in between everything...i can't do it, but i have too. but i can't. everything's in a mess. and i don't know who to tell!!i'm really sad... and stressed and sick of everything that's going on...i just want to sleep!it's not bout avoiding the problem, but i can't seem to find a solution to it...i really am tired mentally..and every night i get night mares. thank god yesterday i din get any..
boss is an ass!wants me to bring in more and more sales... when i ask him to buy, he changes topic and says commitment to high. so your the only one with high commitment?others don't have commitment?today i closed one case. instead of keep motivating me, he ask me, "you closed a case?so how many cases this 2 weeks?"...bosses are suppose to keep motivating us. not demotivate us!!!!all they want is figure. you think i am not stressed?you think i am enjoying life here?NO MISTER. I AM NOT.one day you become Bse. i will go on leave. i wanna see how you sell. don't give me bullshit bout young fresh graduates have better ideas then old ppl.
went to 3 schools in this few days.. one school was a total parasite. 1 school was ok.. another school asked us to come back this Tuesday to talk to teachers. so looking forward to it. then on wed we r doing a roadshow in majlis perbandaran manjung... Steven will settle it. then i think Thursday need to go segari. sigh... but badri will go with us. cz we don't know way.
tomorrow is sales clinic kat ipoh... i am driving... then straight from ipoh will shoto back to ti..sat i am baking blueberry cheese tarts. but all depends if i can get all the ingredients. its bit hard cz i plan to go fro tournament in sasti on sat too.oh well..see how it goes!
branch dinner: swiss garden.. April 30th. duwan go but have to go. and they r gonna play some stupid couple games. gosh. imagine i get fat ass as my partner???or boss???or the other guy????eeeeeee...hope can bring ky.. Chloe plan to bring Charles....
ok lo... think will go knit. nothing to do also now!!!
boss is an ass!wants me to bring in more and more sales... when i ask him to buy, he changes topic and says commitment to high. so your the only one with high commitment?others don't have commitment?today i closed one case. instead of keep motivating me, he ask me, "you closed a case?so how many cases this 2 weeks?"...bosses are suppose to keep motivating us. not demotivate us!!!!all they want is figure. you think i am not stressed?you think i am enjoying life here?NO MISTER. I AM NOT.one day you become Bse. i will go on leave. i wanna see how you sell. don't give me bullshit bout young fresh graduates have better ideas then old ppl.
went to 3 schools in this few days.. one school was a total parasite. 1 school was ok.. another school asked us to come back this Tuesday to talk to teachers. so looking forward to it. then on wed we r doing a roadshow in majlis perbandaran manjung... Steven will settle it. then i think Thursday need to go segari. sigh... but badri will go with us. cz we don't know way.
tomorrow is sales clinic kat ipoh... i am driving... then straight from ipoh will shoto back to ti..sat i am baking blueberry cheese tarts. but all depends if i can get all the ingredients. its bit hard cz i plan to go fro tournament in sasti on sat too.oh well..see how it goes!
branch dinner: swiss garden.. April 30th. duwan go but have to go. and they r gonna play some stupid couple games. gosh. imagine i get fat ass as my partner???or boss???or the other guy????eeeeeee...hope can bring ky.. Chloe plan to bring Charles....
ok lo... think will go knit. nothing to do also now!!!
Tuesday 6 April 2010
for this i have Jesus
I’ve found a refuge from life’s care in Jesus,
I am hiding in His love divine;
He fully understands my soul’s deep longing,
And He whispers softly, “Thou art Mine.” —Christiansen
1 Shout with joy to God, all the earth!
2 Sing the glory of his name;
make his praise glorious!
3 Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds!
So great is your power
that your enemies cringe before you.
4 All the earth bows down to you;
they sing praise to you,
they sing praise to your name."
Selah
5 Come and see what God has done,
how awesome his works in man's behalf!
6 He turned the sea into dry land,
they passed through the waters on foot—
come, let us rejoice in him.
7 He rules forever by his power,
his eyes watch the nations—
let not the rebellious rise up against him.
Selah
8 Praise our God, O peoples,
let the sound of his praise be heard;
9 he has preserved our lives
and kept our feet from slipping.
10 For you, O God, tested us;
you refined us like silver.
11 You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.
12 You let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water,
but you brought us to a place of abundance.
13 I will come to your temple with burnt offerings
and fulfill my vows to you-
14 vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke
when I was in trouble.
15 I will sacrifice fat animals to you
and an offering of rams;
I will offer bulls and goats.
Selah
If every circumstance finds us abiding in Christ, we will find Christ abiding with us in every circumstance.
I am hiding in His love divine;
He fully understands my soul’s deep longing,
And He whispers softly, “Thou art Mine.” —Christiansen
1 Shout with joy to God, all the earth!
2 Sing the glory of his name;
make his praise glorious!
3 Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds!
So great is your power
that your enemies cringe before you.
4 All the earth bows down to you;
they sing praise to you,
they sing praise to your name."
Selah
5 Come and see what God has done,
how awesome his works in man's behalf!
6 He turned the sea into dry land,
they passed through the waters on foot—
come, let us rejoice in him.
7 He rules forever by his power,
his eyes watch the nations—
let not the rebellious rise up against him.
Selah
8 Praise our God, O peoples,
let the sound of his praise be heard;
9 he has preserved our lives
and kept our feet from slipping.
10 For you, O God, tested us;
you refined us like silver.
11 You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.
12 You let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water,
but you brought us to a place of abundance.
13 I will come to your temple with burnt offerings
and fulfill my vows to you-
14 vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke
when I was in trouble.
15 I will sacrifice fat animals to you
and an offering of rams;
I will offer bulls and goats.
Selah
If every circumstance finds us abiding in Christ, we will find Christ abiding with us in every circumstance.
Monday 5 April 2010
the heartbeat of hope/random
hello, happy easter to all my readers bdw;)...the heartbeat of hope was on good friday and saturday:)it was a success. thanx to aunty Grace aunty Cho tan and of course, the one who gave us ope, faith courage to do this, Him...learned a lot from this play. met great people.. got closer to a lot of people and Him..looking forward to Christmas:).
pics, check out my fb.lol..
it's still a down ady inside.. just don't show it.today she came to find me.. and i kinda got firing from her, because i hinted to her i am at a point of giving up..you think i wanna feel this way?you think i am happy?i don't wanna give up myself...but it's so tiring mentally.. and i am loosing the fire in me..i know i am... i just don't have faith in what i sell. i don't see a future in my job. not in the company. but the product i am selling. i myself don't know what to do.i don't know where i am. everything is in a big big mess.
there's 2 campaigns going on.. from 1st-30th April, if i close 8 cases( not looking at premium) i get 2 tickets to Thomas cup live on may 16th 2010.cool eh??i am actually aiming for it.. but to achieve 8 cases seems impossible now..once upon a time, when my target was 8 cases, i could accept it. but today when i read the memo, i couldn't accept it. i found it hard to achieve. and practically impossible. why is that so?but i do want to achieve that. it'd be cool to go watch Thomas cup live:)..but again back to reality...hmmm.. i will try my best...but i dunno where it's taking me..
campaign 2: 1st April to 30th June 2010..i hit 25 cases and i get a yonex racquet with dato lee chong wei's signature...if i get that, i will prob give it to sayang or dad, because they would appreciate the racquet. or i might keep it cz it's my hard work. AGAIN, DAY DREAMING. sigh.i know it'll never happen...she passed me 5 boxes of ING towels to attract customers. so each person who signs and their cases are SIF gets one box.. the towel is nice..
bad news: 3 of our OSP products increasing premium. how to sell?coverage the same but premium increased. hew said it benefits us.. why?? commission higher.. sigh... makes selling harder now:(:(:(..
good news: i have the BQS system on my lappie now.. so if i go meet customer, i can show them with my laptop:)..(like i meet so many customers) but if i do la..and hew gave me some cool ideas that might be useful in presenting..and laminated some stuff for us. thanx miss hew..
wait, i think i know my problem now... its not my presentation. is that step of talking to random strangers sitting at banking hall. i think i am having that problem. why last time i could do it and now i cant, don't ask me. i am trying to figure it out myself too... but i think that's my problem..i seem to find it hard approaching customers. but once i start talking to em, my presentation is good. sigh.....
ok some exciting news: asha is planning to come down ti on may 28th, spend a night with me, catch up, get drunk prob, then sat morning go down pangkor, chill there, go do some beach activities, come back dinner and get drunk:P. Sunday come back. coolness.lololol..thats plan A. plan B is save up money for maybe end of next year. we plan to go Goa.yohoooo!!!!...next year there'll be 2 places i need to save up.. Australia and maybe Goa.. Australia i wanna go with ky and sis and Chris.. but i dunno if ky can get leave for 5 day or 6:(...but definitely will plan a holiday with him la:)..and goa maybe end of year. save more money:)heard it's beautiful.hehehee.so that's some exciting news:).
i had to tell ky bout our may trip... *blabber mouth ady*. ha ha.. anyways, he was ok with idea;) yay... sayang, i din spoil all the fun. there are some surprises which i am not telling okay?:P
anyways, there's just been so much i wanna say, but i don't know where and what and how..guess am just too tired. bdw, i have been getting night mares every night lately. and it's affecting me.. i feel tired the next day. i dunno why. it aint nice dreams you know?
yesterday i wheezed. inhaler running out of gas. need to buy new asthalin dy. anyways am gonna do quiet time and play fitness dash. bdw talking of fitness, i am dam fat now... i think i wanna try some slimming tea. what say you?? ok bye. have a good Wednesday.sorry for the abruptness... lazy spell is working.tata
pics, check out my fb.lol..
it's still a down ady inside.. just don't show it.today she came to find me.. and i kinda got firing from her, because i hinted to her i am at a point of giving up..you think i wanna feel this way?you think i am happy?i don't wanna give up myself...but it's so tiring mentally.. and i am loosing the fire in me..i know i am... i just don't have faith in what i sell. i don't see a future in my job. not in the company. but the product i am selling. i myself don't know what to do.i don't know where i am. everything is in a big big mess.
there's 2 campaigns going on.. from 1st-30th April, if i close 8 cases( not looking at premium) i get 2 tickets to Thomas cup live on may 16th 2010.cool eh??i am actually aiming for it.. but to achieve 8 cases seems impossible now..once upon a time, when my target was 8 cases, i could accept it. but today when i read the memo, i couldn't accept it. i found it hard to achieve. and practically impossible. why is that so?but i do want to achieve that. it'd be cool to go watch Thomas cup live:)..but again back to reality...hmmm.. i will try my best...but i dunno where it's taking me..
campaign 2: 1st April to 30th June 2010..i hit 25 cases and i get a yonex racquet with dato lee chong wei's signature...if i get that, i will prob give it to sayang or dad, because they would appreciate the racquet. or i might keep it cz it's my hard work. AGAIN, DAY DREAMING. sigh.i know it'll never happen...she passed me 5 boxes of ING towels to attract customers. so each person who signs and their cases are SIF gets one box.. the towel is nice..
bad news: 3 of our OSP products increasing premium. how to sell?coverage the same but premium increased. hew said it benefits us.. why?? commission higher.. sigh... makes selling harder now:(:(:(..
good news: i have the BQS system on my lappie now.. so if i go meet customer, i can show them with my laptop:)..(like i meet so many customers) but if i do la..and hew gave me some cool ideas that might be useful in presenting..and laminated some stuff for us. thanx miss hew..
wait, i think i know my problem now... its not my presentation. is that step of talking to random strangers sitting at banking hall. i think i am having that problem. why last time i could do it and now i cant, don't ask me. i am trying to figure it out myself too... but i think that's my problem..i seem to find it hard approaching customers. but once i start talking to em, my presentation is good. sigh.....
ok some exciting news: asha is planning to come down ti on may 28th, spend a night with me, catch up, get drunk prob, then sat morning go down pangkor, chill there, go do some beach activities, come back dinner and get drunk:P. Sunday come back. coolness.lololol..thats plan A. plan B is save up money for maybe end of next year. we plan to go Goa.yohoooo!!!!...next year there'll be 2 places i need to save up.. Australia and maybe Goa.. Australia i wanna go with ky and sis and Chris.. but i dunno if ky can get leave for 5 day or 6:(...but definitely will plan a holiday with him la:)..and goa maybe end of year. save more money:)heard it's beautiful.hehehee.so that's some exciting news:).
i had to tell ky bout our may trip... *blabber mouth ady*. ha ha.. anyways, he was ok with idea;) yay... sayang, i din spoil all the fun. there are some surprises which i am not telling okay?:P
anyways, there's just been so much i wanna say, but i don't know where and what and how..guess am just too tired. bdw, i have been getting night mares every night lately. and it's affecting me.. i feel tired the next day. i dunno why. it aint nice dreams you know?
yesterday i wheezed. inhaler running out of gas. need to buy new asthalin dy. anyways am gonna do quiet time and play fitness dash. bdw talking of fitness, i am dam fat now... i think i wanna try some slimming tea. what say you?? ok bye. have a good Wednesday.sorry for the abruptness... lazy spell is working.tata
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