i am feeling very tired... to a point i don't know what i am doing.. where i am heading.. i am tired that i just don't want to wake up every morning.. every day every minute i am thinking bout it..i am like hanging on a very thin string... and i feel it's going to snap any moment.. i am almost falling off. no i almost fell, but i held myself up and tried to stand on the string again... and i feel i am going to fall off. i am tired of hanging on to it.. can i just drop off??
dinner tonight is instant noodles, lunch tomorrow is tuna sandwich. dinner tomorrow is instant noodles, and lunch on Friday is prob sandwich again.. and dinner on Friday is in swiss garden.. noticed the patheticness these 2 days??yeah i'm broke:(....had to spend a lot this 2 weeks.. some are worth it. some are totally not!!!!that's why i am annoyed..
what to do?i reallly feel like just throwing everything..literally and metaphorically.
someone, tell me what to do.!
Wednesday, 28 April 2010
Sunday, 25 April 2010
everything jumbled up:)
hi, so lots things going on, where to start? hmmm...
situation #1: piles is back:(... had a massive attack on Thursday morning. i never shat so so so much of blood. it was scary. i myself felt scared seeing the blood jut flow down. and my shit was my hair color.brown + red:(.. and i shat mini intestines(hardened blood)lol. and when i wiped my ass, it was blood. like period. told ky. insisted i go A&E get a consult from doctor there. so i went to Seri Manjung hospital, and was attended by 5 pervert houseman. trust me. perverts...desperate and not professional. asking me to introduce pretty girls to them, and asking hows my relationship with my bf... and plan a gathering with my hot chick friends. and saying he's not racist, they don't mind any race... gosh. told ky..anyways they gave me some stuff to stick up my ass.. which is a shape of bullet. kinda uncomfortable. it'll melt after a while. next day, all powder on ur underwear. hahaha. sorry bit too much info yeah?so my diet is under control now...
situation #2: it's finalized that we are going to perform in UCSI on may 8th. :)..
situation #3: went to kl yesterday to pack up my stuff.. see aunty leela and shop a bit. good news: bought it..:)...bought a bag:) and a pair of shorts:).. bad news: aunty's condition is not getting better. she doesn't even wanna look at my mom. think she's never gonna get better. sigh... neutral news: i WANT TO GO TO CHARLES AND KEITH. BUY SHOES. OMGGG THE SHOES ARE SO NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.every pair i looked at had a class of it's own...wanna buy wanna buy..wannnnnna buy!!!!!!not every pair, but at least one pair la:D...
situation #4: Steven wants a pup.. so tomorrow we are coming back after work. dad's workshop got. he want's it:)..
situation #5: it's Monday tomorrow. urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
situation #6: so random ady signs off. meanwhile enjoy some random pics here and there...
till then..
situation #1: piles is back:(... had a massive attack on Thursday morning. i never shat so so so much of blood. it was scary. i myself felt scared seeing the blood jut flow down. and my shit was my hair color.brown + red:(.. and i shat mini intestines(hardened blood)lol. and when i wiped my ass, it was blood. like period. told ky. insisted i go A&E get a consult from doctor there. so i went to Seri Manjung hospital, and was attended by 5 pervert houseman. trust me. perverts...desperate and not professional. asking me to introduce pretty girls to them, and asking hows my relationship with my bf... and plan a gathering with my hot chick friends. and saying he's not racist, they don't mind any race... gosh. told ky..anyways they gave me some stuff to stick up my ass.. which is a shape of bullet. kinda uncomfortable. it'll melt after a while. next day, all powder on ur underwear. hahaha. sorry bit too much info yeah?so my diet is under control now...
situation #2: it's finalized that we are going to perform in UCSI on may 8th. :)..
situation #3: went to kl yesterday to pack up my stuff.. see aunty leela and shop a bit. good news: bought it..:)...bought a bag:) and a pair of shorts:).. bad news: aunty's condition is not getting better. she doesn't even wanna look at my mom. think she's never gonna get better. sigh... neutral news: i WANT TO GO TO CHARLES AND KEITH. BUY SHOES. OMGGG THE SHOES ARE SO NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.every pair i looked at had a class of it's own...wanna buy wanna buy..wannnnnna buy!!!!!!not every pair, but at least one pair la:D...
situation #4: Steven wants a pup.. so tomorrow we are coming back after work. dad's workshop got. he want's it:)..
situation #5: it's Monday tomorrow. urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
situation #6: so random ady signs off. meanwhile enjoy some random pics here and there...
till then..
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
i must get it
though i don't use it, but i am starting to fall in love with it. no her!!!!:D.. i must get it!
empty promises
if you can't, then don't.
if you wont, then don't.
if you're not interested, don't promise.
if you feel it's bullshit, tell me and go away.
don't tell me u can, you will, and you don.t and say you can't.
i might be very sensitive, that's why i am not cut out for this..
i feel disappointed, not because i want to, but i cant help it..
i feel sad when all this happens, and i don't know what to do..
if you wont, then don't.
if you're not interested, don't promise.
if you feel it's bullshit, tell me and go away.
don't tell me u can, you will, and you don.t and say you can't.
i might be very sensitive, that's why i am not cut out for this..
i feel disappointed, not because i want to, but i cant help it..
i feel sad when all this happens, and i don't know what to do..
Monday, 19 April 2010
sweet nothings:)
was just thinking back of how everything started..how we met on Christmas day in church. my first impression was his tie of course... but we din have chemistry..just chat. that afternoon i was going down to ipoh.. before i left church, he asked me for my fb address.. i went home, straight away he added me. but i din think of anything..the next day he sends me a msg on fb, and i can remember if he gives me his msn add or asks for mine.. but we started chatting on msn... i remember it was a sunday evening.. and he was on call.cz i was asking him how come he can online in hospital. and he said, ".....heard of mobile broadband "..or smth lik that.. so we chat, and i told him brb, cz dad bought ckt.. and we started talking bout the best ckt in town...sungai nibong. and i casually or jokingly said, "next time we go makan together"..i had to leave that evening, so i gave him my number. asked him to mc me..and every day, or morning, he would send me mms pictures like 2 cups of coffee, or sun flowers.. representing a beautiful morning..or cute pictures la... kinda every day.. but then i refused to admit anything... till one evening, in work, i get a msg from him, asking me to go makan ckt. i thought he wasnt serious when i told him.. but he did..and it took me 2 days to get back to him bout ckt.. and i remember, when he asked me next was smth like: "hey,i din know it takes up so much of ur brain to decide on ckt"..smth lik that la. cant remember...then i told him ok. but honestly i was dam shocked to get tha msg.
ok, first date... no chemistry AT ALL. and i went home feeling nothing. and vice versa... he told me later too:P..
2nd date, he asked me bout avatar the movie. isaid i havent watched. heard its good... then he said yeah he heard it's good too. then he asked me when i was coming back, when i told him that friday. he asked me if i would wanan watch.. but i couldnt give him an answer, because my colleagues were suppose to come down ti to makan that night.. soi told him wait first... friends cancelled plans, so i got back to him, and said why not?since i havent watch movie for dam long too. he said ok, and said we can do dinner before movie:)..he bought tickets:)we went for curry mee, he picked me up.. and it was that 2nd date, i felt bit dif from the first. but mom and sis kept saying there's smth. but i refused to admit...i dun wanna perasan la.. that day went well. we talked quite a lot..
3rd date: George town..i was leaving for krabi the next day.. he asked me to go fro dinner.. on Wednesday night. he picked me up.. and it was then i started to have feelings. i remember i was having some problems, and he listened, and it felt so nice telling him.. (mind u, though 3 dates, but we were already keeping in touch every day. not much but every day)...oh wait, i think before that, he was on call. but we were sms ing. and we had this get-to-know-ady-and ky quiz... and he called me for the first time, and we talked on phone;)...)
i was excited to go krabi, but this just popped up, and i kinda felt sad cz i would be away for 2 days, no Digi coverage to contact him... and before i boarded the plane, i text-ed him, and he replied saying, "ok safe journey. missing you already". i couldn't help but smile when i read those msgs. in krabi, i was msg-ing him.. sis had a Thai sim:)..i kept the phone. sis knew... he-he... and i realized there was smth happening. he called me from msia to talk to me on the last night i was there. talk for dam long. i told him its ex, he said its ok..i reached msia, he was the first to greet me..as in sms la.:).and the next day i had NSC in sunway...it was then when he sms ed me saying he loves me for the very first time...i remember i talked to him that night. and i already said i was going to sleep. and he sms es me and i quote, "sweet dreams. love ya=). god bless"... i thought i read it wrongly, i re read it again and again. next morning, was too excited, showed Chloe. hahaha.
i came back, and we were already kinda close, and he said he was on leave on Thurs, and would come down to sitiawan to find me.... we both were really looking forward to that night.. it was an exciting memorable night... because that night marks our first day together. he brought sun flowers for me.. though he did not ask me officially, and just held my hands, but i guess he made up for it by the flowers.:)..21st January 2010:)..i love you..
we went to ipoh first time the following weekend. great weekend. and though today when i type this, we have passed that mushi mushi lovey dovey stage. but our relationship is getting stronger day by day. i do miss that few weeks ... but life is not bout that.... we are still getting to know each other a lot... and i realized, he's a great guy.. and sometimes, ( no most of time) i doubt myself, because i am not good for him.. till now, i always feel, i am not good enough for him. and i am trying to work on my flaws...sometimes, i can be so annoying, and sensitive, and think too much... but i don't want to think bout it.. but just work on it...
its a journey both of us are going to continue walking together with Him holding both of us. he always tells me, "everything that happens, we go through it together". "we find solution for it". i realized, it's no more 'I'. it's 'we'...i am sorry if i always make u sad by snapping and sulking....i am working on it. i know i am no where near ur ideal gf...but i am trying to be, not ur ideal gf, but trying to work on my flaws, and want u to accept me for who i am... i cant change over night... but i will eventually... with His help and support from Him and you..
ok, it's 12.22am, and i got to wake up at 545am. i suddenly thought bout all this, and how much i still can smile when i think back of all this sweet nothings:)..so i needed to tell someone how i feel...ok good night for real. byee..
ok, first date... no chemistry AT ALL. and i went home feeling nothing. and vice versa... he told me later too:P..
2nd date, he asked me bout avatar the movie. isaid i havent watched. heard its good... then he said yeah he heard it's good too. then he asked me when i was coming back, when i told him that friday. he asked me if i would wanan watch.. but i couldnt give him an answer, because my colleagues were suppose to come down ti to makan that night.. soi told him wait first... friends cancelled plans, so i got back to him, and said why not?since i havent watch movie for dam long too. he said ok, and said we can do dinner before movie:)..he bought tickets:)we went for curry mee, he picked me up.. and it was that 2nd date, i felt bit dif from the first. but mom and sis kept saying there's smth. but i refused to admit...i dun wanna perasan la.. that day went well. we talked quite a lot..
3rd date: George town..i was leaving for krabi the next day.. he asked me to go fro dinner.. on Wednesday night. he picked me up.. and it was then i started to have feelings. i remember i was having some problems, and he listened, and it felt so nice telling him.. (mind u, though 3 dates, but we were already keeping in touch every day. not much but every day)...oh wait, i think before that, he was on call. but we were sms ing. and we had this get-to-know-ady-and ky quiz... and he called me for the first time, and we talked on phone;)...)
i was excited to go krabi, but this just popped up, and i kinda felt sad cz i would be away for 2 days, no Digi coverage to contact him... and before i boarded the plane, i text-ed him, and he replied saying, "ok safe journey. missing you already". i couldn't help but smile when i read those msgs. in krabi, i was msg-ing him.. sis had a Thai sim:)..i kept the phone. sis knew... he-he... and i realized there was smth happening. he called me from msia to talk to me on the last night i was there. talk for dam long. i told him its ex, he said its ok..i reached msia, he was the first to greet me..as in sms la.:).and the next day i had NSC in sunway...it was then when he sms ed me saying he loves me for the very first time...i remember i talked to him that night. and i already said i was going to sleep. and he sms es me and i quote, "sweet dreams. love ya=). god bless"... i thought i read it wrongly, i re read it again and again. next morning, was too excited, showed Chloe. hahaha.
i came back, and we were already kinda close, and he said he was on leave on Thurs, and would come down to sitiawan to find me.... we both were really looking forward to that night.. it was an exciting memorable night... because that night marks our first day together. he brought sun flowers for me.. though he did not ask me officially, and just held my hands, but i guess he made up for it by the flowers.:)..21st January 2010:)..i love you..
we went to ipoh first time the following weekend. great weekend. and though today when i type this, we have passed that mushi mushi lovey dovey stage. but our relationship is getting stronger day by day. i do miss that few weeks ... but life is not bout that.... we are still getting to know each other a lot... and i realized, he's a great guy.. and sometimes, ( no most of time) i doubt myself, because i am not good for him.. till now, i always feel, i am not good enough for him. and i am trying to work on my flaws...sometimes, i can be so annoying, and sensitive, and think too much... but i don't want to think bout it.. but just work on it...
its a journey both of us are going to continue walking together with Him holding both of us. he always tells me, "everything that happens, we go through it together". "we find solution for it". i realized, it's no more 'I'. it's 'we'...i am sorry if i always make u sad by snapping and sulking....i am working on it. i know i am no where near ur ideal gf...but i am trying to be, not ur ideal gf, but trying to work on my flaws, and want u to accept me for who i am... i cant change over night... but i will eventually... with His help and support from Him and you..
ok, it's 12.22am, and i got to wake up at 545am. i suddenly thought bout all this, and how much i still can smile when i think back of all this sweet nothings:)..so i needed to tell someone how i feel...ok good night for real. byee..
where to buy?
do you know where to buy......????i mean i know where to buy, but i dunno if got or not. imagine i go and see, don't have how.. i dunno how to buy online... and scared they cheat me.how r how r???i am set on buying it:D:D:D..
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