;(

no i din forget Singapore.... but that'll be for the weekend..the weekend was all smiles.but as u can see, my title post today is not a smile. so will keep Singapore for the weekend..

hello readers..i started work today. and ok good news, i closed one case today.. appointment made last week, called her today, she ask me go over to her shop. i did present and closed the case. tomorrow go and collect money...

bad news, 2 more policies surrendered.. i'm just doing a lot of thinking..a lot a lot of thinking... i'm so confused. .i'm hitting depression because i just don't know where am i now... i'm happy and cheery in front of everyone... but i'm not inside me... cz i really don;t know where i am and what i am doing...i'm not happy. i'm really sad...i keep telling myself to hang on, stay strong.... but how long????it's a never ending process. it's the same thing day in day out. every week, every month...and i always believe however stressed ur job is, if you're happy doing it, it'll be ok... but the problem now is I AM NOT HAPPY...at all!!!!..there's a lot of bitterness in me.. and i am trying to control it.. i don't want to tell anyone bout it... i am trying to put this face on...trying so hard.. but how long????what is my future???my dreams are elsewhere.. i know where it is..during practice, a few flash backs flooded my head... those times, that moment when abang hamid told me... when kak lenny told me... a lot of pl told me the same thing... when casey called me,when puan rose called me personally one day to ask me... i felt it prick...i almost teared.. all this flashed through when i was singing just now....and look where am i now??

i wont tell anyone how i feel now..i don't want to...my only outlet is here and God.. i tell myself, i just need to trust Him, and He will do the rest. maybe all this is part of His plans for me.. what ever His plans are, i will do it, and every time i face anything, i will ask myself, what would He do????so i will hang on..... until i cannot take it anymore!

so let tomorrow worry bout tomorrow. i am gonna do quiet time and sleep..hope it's a better day for all of us..

p/s: hope it's a quiet day for you...a good one...