lc told me bout this book, that has all the lame jokes. i did not believe at first, and thought ,oh ok, some book of jokes. then he borrowed it from his shop, and omggggggg, some of it is really lame. so lame i have to quote some of it:P bdw , the nmae of book is "what a joke collection" written by this lamos: phillip adams and patrice newell. honestly, i salute the both of tem to ocme out with such jokes. but you know, only lame people like me, sis and ee von will find it farnie. i was laughing no n stop when i read it, and lc felt his brain was melting. so i quote:
q: what petrol do snails use?
a: shell
q: what's a bear's favorite drink?
a: ginger bear *lameeee!*
q: what do cats read in the morning?
a: mewspapers
q: what do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pants?
a: smarty pants
q: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?
a: a teacher says " spit out the chewing gum" and a train says "chew chew"
q: "johny, who was the first woman on earth"?
"give me a clue"
"well, think of an apple"
a: "granny smith"*laughs*
q: "johny, you missed school yesterday, didn't you"?
a: "no teacher, i didn't miss it at all!"
q: what are the knees of baby goats called?
a: kidneys *lamee*
q: what do you get if a lamb studies karate?
a: lamb chops
q; wjat kind of horses go out at night?
a: nigh mares
q: what did the duck say when she finished shopping?
a: just put it on my bill
q: what is a ghost's favourite dessert?
a: boo-berry pie with i-scream
q: what kind of jewels do mosnters wear?
a: tombstones
q: what colour is a shout?
a: yell-oh
q: how do you make seven an even number?
a: take the 's' off
q: how do angels answer the phone?
a: "halo"
q: how did the piano get out of jail?
a: with it's keys
q: what gets wetter as it dries?
a: towel
q: what does the sea say to the sand?
a: not much, it mostly waves
q: what trees do hands grow on?
a: palm trees
q: what can yuo hold without catching?
a: your breath
q: what sort of nails do you find in shoes?
a: toenails
q: where can you buy elephants?
a: a jumbo sale *:P*
q: where do baby apes sleep?
a: in apricots
q: what kind of keys doesn't unlock any door?
a: a monkey
q: whats yellow, brown and hairy?
a: cheese on toast, dropped on the carpet
q: what's in paris, and is really high and wobbly?
a: the trifle tower
q: what kind of apple isnt' an apple?
a: pineapple
q: why are you dancing with the jar of honey?
a: it says "twist to open"
q: why don't bananas use sunscreen?
a: so they can peel easily
q: johny, which month has 28 days?
a: they all have, miss
q: whats small, annoying and really ugly ?
a: i'm not sure, but it comes when i call out my sister's name *omggg, this is so farnie*
q: why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
a: because their kids have to play inside
q: what is tarxan's favorite christmas song?
a: jungle bells
q: what sort of fish go meow?
a: a cat fish
q: why did the turtle cross the road:
a: to get to the shell station
q: what would yo call superman if he lost all his powers?
a: man
q: why is it easy to weigh fish?
a: because it comes with scales
q: what starts with "t" and ends with "t" and is full of "t"?
a: a teapot
q: how do you take a sick pig to the hospital?
a: in a ham-bulance
q: what kind of cat is found in a library?
a: a catalogue
q: what dog never barks?
a: a hot dog
q: now you see it, now you dont, now you see it, now you dont. what is it?
a: a black cat on a zebra crossing
q: why is bowling called a quiet sport?
a: because you can always hear a pin drop
q: what tables are cooked ad eaten?
a: vegetables
q: what has 4 legs and doesn walk?
a: a table
q: what do you get from a nervous cow?
a: a milk shake
q: what hand do you stir your coffee with?
a: well you should use a spoon
q: what colour is a burp:
a: burple
this book is so lame. there's more but too lazy to type.
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