Friday 10 October 2008

nobody has any right to say anything, cz nobody knows the truth. all of you hear from me, my blog, my point of view!but nobody hears from both sides. so listen properly to what's really going on.

when he doesn't say he loves me after a sms, i get angry. i never stop to think maybe he's busy.

when he's not so mushy and quiet, i get angry. but i never stop to think maybe he's injured or tired. when actually he was injured, and just couldn be as bubbly as he is always.

when i am pissed off over something, i shout at him, and make it seem like it was his fault.

when he tells me smth, i don't listen but at the exact moment, somebody else tells me smth, the same thing he said, and i listen immediately.

when he does something, something not wrong, but just diff, i get angry, cz it's not what i would do.

when he is a bit too honest, and i do not like his opinion, i get angry and sulk.

when he is saving money to buy me something, and at that moment he doesn't spend on me, i get angry and accuse him of being stingy and calculative.

i sulk over nothing. when he says something, and i don't agree, i get angry, and not talk. when actually what he said make sense

i get angry and sulk when he tells me he will text me when he is going to sleep, but when he takes awhile to reply me, i show my face and tone of voice. when actually he din sleep yet. he `was reading comics.

when he forgets to bring his phone to class cz he was rushing, and i sms him and he doesn reply, i get angry!he was rushing cz we both were chatting on msn. and i still get angry.

i get angry with him when he doesn want to spend money on me for something he knows well i wont enjoy. he knows i will not enjoy smth, but just cz he cant spend on me, i get angry.

i expect him to just care for me and just me, but even though he is not well, i do not care for him, but he doesn say anything, but i get angry cz he is not caring for me. i fail to realize that he also needs care. he's in pain!but no i show my face.

he's so happy that he can get tickets for mama MIA, the show I've been telling hi m i wanna watch so badly, when deep down, he hates `all this chick flick shows. but he was so excited to take me, and insisted that we go for gsc in the gardens. he insist on paying for me. but when we go home, i still can pick a bone with him cz he is being quiet.i never thought maybe his leg is painful, cz he sprained his toe. no i never realized all those.i just thought of my own skin.

he might not be the worlds best bf, who is?but he's not an asshole either. he might say things that can be very hurtful at times, he might be quite tight with his cash, but he is not a bad guy. he did not cheat on me, he is not abusing me, instead he cares for me more then cares for his own family. he is more affectionate to me then his own family.

i fail to see all this when we argue. i keep thinking only i am right, and he is to be blamed for every thing!. but when you look back, he gets hostile and super angry now ,cz he has reached his limits, and why has he become like that?cz i drove him to that point. i sulk and sulk and sulk over every dam thing.

i might get angry with him, over things which i will not say sorry about, and that's for him to work on. but on my behalf, i feel rotten cz i know a lot of things is cause i started it! and my ego is too big, to admit that it's my fault.

i know all of you care for me, and i am grateful i have all of you, but i am not a kid, i can handle my things, and i will tell u when i am ready to tell. and now everything is ok, why do i need to hear this?

if anybody reading this is not happy bout what i think, then keep it to themselves. don't go and put up your opinion on my blog, cz it hurts!cz right now, there is no problem!when everything is settled then only i hear all this. out of no where u get so hostile and say this and that. how do you think i feel?right on my face you just blurt out everything, when firstly, everything is solved, and secondly, i can handle it, and thirdly, this is between me and him. if we can come to a solution, then all of you should be happy and support me. if you blow up when things get bad, i understand, but you blow up when everything is solved!what kind of answer you expecting from me?

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