tired

i'm tired of always thinking bout ppl.

i'm tired of always caring for ppl.

i'm tired of always being the one who plans, who organizes, who does every dam thing.

i'm tired of being controlled by ppl's words.

i'm tired of trying to not say anything to hurt em, cz ppl dun care bout me. they blurt it out, and it hurts. so i am tired of taking care of ppl's feelings.

i'm tired of everything in my life. but for work, i am also tired. but i cant give up on this. but deep down i am tired.

i'm tired of hoping!!

i'm tired of thinking, if they will do it or not...

i'm tired.. i really am.

deep down, i feel so disappointed. cz i thought there would be something. guess i was thinking too much. there was nothing, and there will be nothing ever!!

i have this problem, i think too much. i got a hyper active imagination.and this imagination is making me feel down. cz i put hope, i expected something... it happened before, this exact same feeling, but worse back then!but its happening again!!!

i have no outlet. i have so many things playing in my head, so much feelings, so much going on, but i dunno where to let it out!!!...

i am standing strong, trying to, but at times, or even now, i wanna cry, i wanna let go of everything, i wanna just let go, break down and cry, and sleep. i don't like this feeling. but i keep telling myself, i must stand up, i must stay strong. i am the pillar. a lot of ppl have hope on me, thats why i cant fall. but i dunno how long i can stand!!!i am crumbling inside!!!THE TRUTH IS UGLY. I KNOW. but i cant help but feel sad to face it!!!!

when i meet ppl, no one would know i am feeling like this. but this is what is going on!!!and i am all alone!!