i was promised a lot of things, but not even one was given.. i thought i was given a chance to learn and grow( as they, i mean He said , i must be with them, learn with them) but i am not even given the chance to learn. all i get is 1681.75. nothing else. and free coffee. that all. i am not even given the chance to learn and expand my knowledge. how sad is that?
i need to be more aggressive. i need to like send 10 resumes mini to 10 different companies, then after 2 weeks send another 10 to different companies. no i am serious. i am having procrastinating problems also. which should be eliminated straight away. i need to buck up. not in job, but in looking for another job. its not going to drop on my feet if i don't look for it. i need to run...i pray that He will guide me in this process, dun let me procrastinate, something will come in if i am aggressive. i believe in myself. tomorrow, no i am serious, i am going to write down all the companies HR department address, and i am going to courier one by one.
they are looking for interns in sales and marketing. i suspect something fishy. there's another reason why i am sad, but i am just too lazy to type it out here. or maybe i should, guess i will feel better. sometimes when i am so down, and the one person i wanna talk to is not free, it kinda sucks to have that feeling, right now i feel so lonely, as in no one to listen to me..... and comfort me, and plus with my pms, my emotions are everywhere, and i cant put them in their place. lol. i mean not LOL-ING that my emotions are everywhere, i am LOL-ing cz it sounds funny, putting them back, like they are cookies, and we can just transfer them back to where it belongs. :P
anyway am i really going to do this?
i think i am going to summarize it. its omg so long la. so its like this, one boss promised me the stage management job, another boss keeps quiet totally. lets give them names, idiot boss and boss friend. so boss friend ask me to become stage manager, idiot boss keeps quiet. i ask boss friend if i need to go audition cz i got work to settle in office, he says OK can, but intern buts in and ask if she is still going. so boss friends say yes she is still going, why is she going if i am not going? he says shes helping out,... if shes helping out, shouldn't i need to go?but boss friend says i am am, and its OK i dun need to go, then why she go? ok. question no 1 not answered.
Monday idiot boss and boss friend went out to meet this customer. i arrange for appointment but i dun get to go. fine~if i am stage manager dun i have to go to be there since you are finalizing rehearsal time? OK question no 2 not solved.
today, idiot boss asks me to contact client, and say we cant meet them to see venue. before this, intern ask idiot boss, "what time are we going out today". then idiot boss says its canceled. i was wondering who is idiot boss taking intern to meet??? then i thought maybe is berjaya, since intern is the big coordinator. then after idiot boss told me to cancel the appointment today, which i wasn't even aware of, it suddenly hit me, maybe(i said maybe), it was the same appointment which intern was talking about, and my issue is, is she the new SM? what about me?? if i am the sm shouldn't i be told what to start doing? but idiot boss and boss friend both are keeping quiet. rehearsal are supposed to start mid Oct. that is next week. how come i don't know anything. oh before this, when i was having meeting with idiot boss, he said, "we need to find a stage manager for sp setia( this client) and for Shout. i just kept quiet, cz back to my question(s), i thought i was the Sm? means idiot boss doesn't want me to be sm, CZ my focus is on sales and marketing, and maybe idiot boss wants the idiot intern to do it, CZ no1) its cheaper to get them, no2) they have no experience. talking of experience, she knows nuts, shes not a even planner, neither is she a degree holder in performing arts to be able to be SM for a musical. shes a mass com degree holder.. i am a performing arts degree holder, with experience in sm. not much, but i learn it, i have done it. i don't have experience in earning money for it, but i know how to do it..she doesn't. 3) they don't need to pay them, but instead fear of needing to pay me!!!!!
so did they full fill any of their promises????? none. i don't even have a contract. where is my contract?when i ask, idiot boss says, "i thought i email you that day" then when i say he suppose to print it for me, oh ok ok ok i will give u later. every time i ask, he says that. if you are forgetful how come when it comes to money issues and clients you can remember instantly? but your staff welfare you don't? not because you don't, but you don't want to care. i tell you, a company may be very successful cz of your credits, but you are no where without efficient staff.
tonight i am going to eat happy food. i am going to kfc to satisfy my cravings to eat tom yam crunch and jelly ice cream. i am down lonely, depressed and sad, and i am entitled to eat happy food today. enough of sad things today, i am eating happy food today.
dam it its only 4.25pm now.
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