a summary of 2008

i met new friends

i met up and kept in touch with old friends(friends since 1994)

i met someone special on 4th January 2008

i found happiness

i found misery

i discovered myself deeper

i discovered people around me deeper

i became stronger, i fell again, and became weak, and became stronger again

i saw things in a diff view

i learn t to judge people around me

i had arguments with my loved ones(which never happened before)

i lost a few friends(no they din die, but i refuse to talk to them cz of personal reasons..they betrayed me)

i lost weight, and gained back.hehe..(planning to loose it again):p

i had the most expensive birthday present i've ever got

i had the best birthday ever with my loved ones

i also had the worse birthday(with others)

i cried on my birthday

i cried cz i was so touched( post birthday celebration:))

i cried a lot for nothing important(looks like my 2007 resolution finally came true)

i lost a big part of me on December 7th 2008. (a big important part of me)

i fell down, but tried to stand up

i walked a few steps, and fell again.

i stood up, and am going to continue walking!

i witnessed a lot of people i love loose loved ones, and it hurt!

bad and good year... but more bad.. lets pray that 2009 is a good year for everyone!

happy new year.

p/s: got this dam farnie but rude forwarded sms:

" may the fleas of a thousand camels infest the ass of the person who messed up yuor year and may his arms grow too short to scratch his ass. happy new year"

rofl rofl rofl...hahahahaha

i forgot to add this resolution:

i wanna be close to god. i wanna be more spiritual. i wanna communicate with god more. i will read the bible every day, pray every day. i feel god knows best for me, and everything happens for a reason. and i should trust Him wholeheartedly, and not question him when it doesn't go my way..

am i?

i know nobody gives a dam how i feel or how i am doing. but i need to let it out!

i keep quiet and try to be strong, but i ask myself, am i really that strong?

i am cheerful and happy and merry, but am i really happy and cheerful and merry deep down?

i tell everyone i am ok, but am i really ok?

i know, i am full of venom. i am very bitter, and is coming out indirectly when i talk! why am i like that? i curse, i scold, i get very angry and bitter..i duwan to be like that.. i hate myself for being such a bitch.

i know i cannot fall now. i am holding strong. i must be strong. it's not the end of the world. i must look at the brighter side.

i wont let down my family's hopes. i will stand up, not cry, and carry on walking. i realize a lot of things lately, that in my life, nothing else is important but my family. anything can happen to me, but as long as i have my family by my side, my problems are solved!

i duwan to care bout people who don't appreciate me. i duwan to get angry with people who are not worth my anger and emotions. i duwan to be the planner for everything, and be the monitor. i only will plan our penang trip(my buddies-yau, layne, xiang, emun) and other important people's birthdays. people take me for granted, and i am not going to let it happen again. everyone takes me for a ride. so yeah, get off the pony and find another pony to sit and ride!

i am going to be a very carefree person. i am not going to get angry, curse and i am not going to bother bout anything.

my 2009 resolutions:)

my 2009 resolutions:

1) focus on my studies, be in the dean's list for the last time. MUST!

2) must be strong in making decisions, or accepting anything in life.

3) be systematic..filing, planning properly, making wise decisions

4) make my bed every morning and clean my room every day

5) bathe every morning:)

6) STOP cursing at people, hating people, and STOP using bad words......i MUST STOP USING IT.

7) control my temper, and be more rational, and NOT rash

8) master up few more types of knitting, and knit 4 mufflers/scarfs by end of may, and 3 hand phone pouches by end of December 2009:)

9) read up all the pending story books:) and more..(got library in my house)heheheheh

10)learn french, and be ok at it:)

11)learn to bake more exotic recipes

12)MUST SAVE MONEY( i know i say this every year, but this new year have to la..cz going to start working. if i dun throw my horrible attitude of spending money away, i will be living at the road sides, eating the grass and sand and breathing the air)*neng neng neng*.hahahaa.. yeah so must save money and not i simply spend and buy things

13)NOT BE SO SENSITIVE( i lost a part of me partly cz i was sensitive, so i have to loosen up, and look at things in a brighter side, and see the positive part, NOT negative.

14)MUST put my heart and soul into my final project.MUST MUST MUST!i must impress everyone, especially rose

15)learn to be patient

16)find a job, and start working:)

17)diet, become thin. loose my tummy. every day hoola hoop, sit ups and if can, jogging. MUST!

heavy heart

my heart is so heavy,i got so many things to say, so many dif types of feelings inside.sigh..i think if weigh my heart, it sure will be very heavy, and if u put it on the weighing machine, it will be right at the bottom.. too heavy til cannot go up:(

taekwondo leadership and fitness camp 2008:)

it finally came.. DEC 5th..annual fitness camp..and again, together with my ss-nians:)..this time camp was more fun and tiring, cz there were more training and all compared to last year. last year got go jalan-jalan a lot. this year serious training.. some more me and xiang cannot sampat sampat sebab kita jadi assistant coach.. so have ot jaga lo. reputation:P.. only can sampat inside the room.:( but anyway we had fun:)

this year my old buddies, Jacky and Windsor came. it was nice training with them again, like back then 14 years ago when we train in kwong tong, just that now we're all grown up:)

the camp, well, i will let the pictures say everything, cz too my pictures.. cant put up here. so check out the link k?

another thing, which i must put up here, is they(yau, Layne, eemun ,xiang) planned something and surprised me.. they brought 2 cakes all the way from bidor to teluk intan, to pangkor..it was so touching,.. they surprised me and madam( cz both of us born on Nov 28).. after the night session, emun went out to make announcement..she said "ok, i have an announcement to make, today we r going to celebrate our senior and madam's birthday". and i was so shocked i was speechless. i could n believe what i heard. my friends surprised me and with so many people..awwwww.. so so touched.. then i went up with madam, and they offed the lights and brought in 2 cakes, one for me, one for madam, and they decorated it with rocky strawberry biscuits. awwwwww.... and then they put those candles, where it lights up by itself again and again.. gosh!but seriously,i was so touched.. hou kam tong!i love you guys.:)and thanx so much for the lil surprise:)thanx to Jacky and Windsor, for protecting the cake and not letting me hold it.. no wonder in convent, when i asked whats inside that bag, yau faster say its exam papers.. cannot touch. then in ferry Jacky refused to let me carry that bag, and i recall yau and Jacky having a conversation in front of me, where yau asked Jacky "where is the blue bag" and Jacky answered" what blue bag" and yau like looked at Jacky with that "oh-no face".. and Jacky said "oh that bag is with Windsor".. even when walking out of the ferry, i noticed Jacky and Windsor carrying that blue plastic bag. it did not strike me at all cz i thought maybe cz it's heavy, so the both of them are being gentlemen and not letting the girls carry la. did not suspect at all there were cakes inside.. for us!:)super big bear hug to yee mun, Elaine, xiang, yau, wooi:), Jacky and Windsor.. thanx so much... *hugs*

on 7th December 2008, something happened. something i will never forget. i will always remember 7th December 2008. i sat on the beach, cried with yee mun next to me, and when she was busy, sat there, looked at the sea, the sky, and cried again, trying to hide if sir saw, cz it would be embarrassing. dunno if he saw. yee mun, u think sir saw?

i was really down that night, but i tried to be strong... i refused to show long face, cz it would be my last night with all of them..i am a strong girl:)

i was sad to break camp, cz this meant saying goodbye to my pals, and this meant being alone now..all alone.. i was sad.. and i thank god for having great family supporting me, trying to cheer me up, great friends like Windsor, Jacky, yee mun, Elaine, xiang, yau.my dearest bebeh.. i love all of you.. and thanx for caring and being there for me when i needed it.

but overall, camp was great.. we did almost the same things last year, so i will just put up the link for u to see the pictures k.

http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=528903250

check it out:)

cameorn highlands/birthday trip:)

i'm back.. after so long..believe me, so many things have happened!dunno where to start.. but i will start with whats most important.. cameron highlands /birthday gathering.. we went up on 29th nov(a day after my bday and ma's).. to celebrate.. it was the normal routine, gettign ready, getting isaaa'cs stuff done, bla bla bla.. sis chris and wyno were meeting us up there but half way through, chris's car broke down. smth to do with tyres la.hehe.. so ended up we met them half way after simpang pulai tol, and went up together(2 cars)..almost reaching brinchang, sis calls me, tells me to go get the keys for aparment because wyno needs to stop to puke and they need to piss. i was reluctant cz i did not want to go get the keys(for personal reasons)..but ended up papa went in la to get the keys.

so the day went well.. normal stuff, shopping, eating, walking around, scones fro tea bla bla..and of course at ngiht, steam boat:)....but before steam boat, i showed a bi of a long face and was kinda sad, cz i shamelessly asked my ssiter, "ey wheres our birthday cake?"..and my sister replied with that shocked face and "so sorry" face, saying: " oh, am so sorry, i forgot to buy.. nvmd, when we go back ti, we buy and celebrate in poh loong ok"?so iwas dam sad, cz i only had one cake from ee von and cat, no other cake from other people, and other celebration. so i uslked for a while, but later dinner realized it's ok.. it's just a blinking cake.. as long as all my loved ones are here with me, sitting round the table, merry, laughing and eating, and being together as a family, thats all that matters.

after dinner, when we were quite full, my sister said she wanted to go toilet, when she came back, tha aunty brought in a cake, lit up with 2 candles.awwwwww.. i teared, cz i was really touched and surprised. actualyl my sis purposely stopped at brinchang to give the aunty the cake, thats y ask me go get keys. got prove of me crying. check out my facebook profile: http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=528903250#/album.php?aid=50083&id=528903250&op=6..i love all of you.. :)ma and me were both very touched..

after cutting cake and all the photo session, we decided to go karaoke.yayyy.. went down to brinchang town, closed dy, so we went up to equatorial hotel sing-alot karaoke, and sang our hearts out.. so niceeee, and we drank, and smoked cigar.. even my mom.hahahaahah..wat a great celebration. thank you thank you!:)

i always knew this, but now its just clearer... trust your family... they wil lalways be by yuor side no matter what happens. when they say they love you, they really mean it.. unlike other people.. family wil lalways be there for you.. no matter waht... so i will always appeciate this unit, and i will do anything for them. mama, papa, bebeh, chris, and of course isaac and adam:)
i have put up all the pictures on facebook. check out this link k?the one on top.. to see the pictures:)

1) uniform(s)
2) belt
3) training shoes
4) crocs
5) socks(s)
6) sports bra(s)
7) pjs
8) t shirt(s)
9) pants and clothes and shorts
10)pads
11)pantyliners
12)toothbrush
13)toothpaste
14)shower foam
15) shampoo/conditioner
16)oil
17)feminine hygiene wash
18)mosquito repellent
19)camera/charger/usb transfer cable
20)phone charger
21)phone
22)bra/panties
23)money
24)level1-3 book
25)pen/paper
26)water bottle
27)pen drive
28)comb
29)eye stress gel
30)hanger(s)
31)hard disk drive
32)towel
33)hair band
34)medical kit
35)3 pin plug
36)cotton buds

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to mama(and myself)..happy birthday to you:)

i love you ma. we all do:)

depressing

as the day is nearing, the more i am feeling depressed. sigh.dunno why la. not looking forward to it. today is a depressing day. forcing myself to be happy, but deep down,i feel really down. grhhhhh....

camp is next week, and my stamina is flat:(.i haven't bought training shoes yet. prob buy this Tuesday or Wednesday. maybe Tuesday la.Wednesday too near camp Dy.will go mv, check if got. actually got, but just dam mahal. i sayang to buy so expensive, cz am going to use it to train, and it'l be used on rough surface.. so was thinking of goign to petaling street to buy. besides, not to say i am a tkd athlete. i only wear my uniform every december. i am not active. so a bi waste right, spend rm239 for a pair of shoes i only wear once a year?might as well buy from petlaing street, rm60-80 only. who cares if its original?right?doesn't make a dif. oh wait, it does. i might slip and fall if i buy those. hehehee.but oh well.. see how la.

October and November are horrible months for me. it's worse this November. with my work, and my personal life, despite having my birthday end of this month, but i would say it's the worse birthday I've ever had. no, ok, it's not over, but i know it's going to be a depressing one. maybe to outsiders, you won't know why, but i am not going to say why, but all i know is its a very depressing birthday:(..

I'm so stressed, till my period came late, and of all times, this month. i wanted it to come early, cz i am going for camp next Friday, seaside some more, then after that langkawi. believe me, the worse feeling is to have your period and train..some more wear white pants(our uniform)...gosh!with all the legs flying on air, and the splits, and stretching.. gosh!and i got history of staining. always!buuttt,, thank god my period came yesterday.. thanx to pineapples. i had to "induce" it out. i ate dam a lot of pineapples. and it came yesterday, but it came out brown. dark dark brown. not red. it look like i shit in my panties, but no, its not at my backside, it was in front. so obviously not. and i am not 3 years old to shit in my panties ok?some more no pain. that's dam shocking, cz every month, when it comes, i can barely walk!the pain is so painful, but now, no pain!but today, i finally can see it's getting red. not brown:)but not heavy la. prob need to continue eating more pineapples.hehehe.

then, my connection is so cibai. tiu betul la!i shall not elaborate more.. but just to let you know, it's sickening and cibaitic. TIUUU!

so u imagine la, with all this, how not to be depressed?ok.. there's more to what i wrote here. i am depressed over more serious substantial stuff ok?things worth calling problems!but it just adds to all this. sigh!i hate 2008. i hope 2009 is a better year for all of us. i know a lot of people hate this year, i hate it too!well cheers to a better 2009!:)

tiuu lei!

i shall not start all over again, cz i think i did put up a post starting with "from day one......."...so yeah, that walking xerox machine.its always her, isn't it?so u guys must be thinking, oh what now?and probably gonna go on with a string of bad words. well i am not, cz i already did just now. ask ee von.

the point is, i am too lazy to tell everything here again. but kesimpulannya, i am not jealous, just angry, cz she always follows only me, and then top me!then tries to compare me with her life, tries to compare me with her beloved uni. seriously, she needs to stay in an asylum.mentally crazy psycho people don't go to universities. they go to tanjung rambutan!

i honestly dunno what i did to deserve people like her around me!

i might be over reacting, but if any of my readers are going to come tell me that and not be supportive, i suggest don't say anything, cz my mouth now got no insurance!. i need to rant!urghhhhhh!!!!!!!

"the tenth tuesday we talk about marriage"-tuesdays with morrie

am reading this beautiful book written by Mitch album, "Tuesdays with Morrie". it's so touching and makes sense, and actually depicts real life. or maybe depicts my life. i wish i could quote the whole book, but i would like to quote this passage, cz it's just so true:

"there are a few rules i know to be true about love and marriage. if you don't respect the other person, you're going to have a lot of trouble. if you don't know how to compromise, you're going to have a lot of trouble. if you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're going to have a lot of trouble. and if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're going to have a lot of trouble. your values must be alike."

"you must believe in the importance of your marriage"

m.o.s:D

we finalyl went to mos, the club everyone's talking about, nad i lik this club, not cz there are lots of guys trying to hit on us, but the atmosphere,it's a no smoking club. yohooo!!!except that the music, hmmmm. not really r&b lo. but its quite nice. me, ee von, bebeh and cheng choo felt the same too:D we bought bacardi and went to sis's place and got drunk there. then only went clubbing. hehehe.memang seronok!

my early birthday celebration

did not suspect anything. went to dye my hair with bebeh and she told me she felt like eating some penang food and asked if it's ok if we go little penang cafe in mid valley, so itold her i got no money, cz am really broke, and she said she belanja me.(of course say ok la)hahahaha..gosh, i sound like a parasite:P.well, it's just my bebeh only.heheheheehe..:PPPP

in the saloon before going to eat, she asked me:

bebeh: so you not doing anything with your friends this year?

me: no la..also no time.. besides, a bi farnie right, my own birthday i plan sometihng, if anything also should be they plan for me ma.a bit pai seh plan my own

bebeh: true true

so went to little penang cafe, i ordered curry mee, sis ordered har mee(prawn noodles la).then when i was eating, i just put in my first spoon, when i realized someone like strangle m from the BACK, and i cant remember what she said, was it "happy birthday" or "heyyyy" i really din hear, but i seriously got a scare, when i turned behind, it was cat and ee Von, holding a cake in front of me. awwwww.. i almost teared, cz no one has ever surprised me like this for my birthday before.. (ok, i know i sound pathetic, but yes, no one has ever surprised me on my birthday before) and though it was only my sister, ee Von and cat, but it thrilled me to bits, to get a surprise when i least expected it. they wanted to sing for me, but i said it's ok,cz a bit malu, so we skipped that, but did the cutting cake:)thanx for everything girls. i love you!behind all this was bebeh. thanx for being so understanding and caring:)bebeh forever yeah?:)and ee von and cat, thank you so much for making that effort to come to mv, planning with my sister, getting the cake despite being busy, having to work later, rushing to surprise me. i was really touched and happy:)thanx again for everything:)*big bear hug* to the 3 of you:). though it may look like nothing to others, but to me, what you guys did, really made me so happy and made me feel appreciated. so i shall let the pics talk. and bdw, i dyed my hair:i like it.hehehehehe..






MY HAIR:P






Chocolate hazelnut cake, from cake sense:D












the books was from my sister. i asked her to buy me that for my birthday. so cool. her books sure very nice and can cry kind. just like p.s i love you:)







card and glitter was from lc. the natural hand made soap from chee wei, cheng choo, ee von and cat. thank you so much. i sayang to use la, cz it smells so nice:)and the box is so pretty:)hehehehe. but i liked it. thanx yea?:)


oh i treated myself to this book:D

thanx again bebeh, ee von, cat for the little mini celebration. though mini, but i was super touched and happy. thanx yeah?

and to ee von, cat, cheng choo, chee wei, bebeh, lc, thanx for the gifts:)