depressing

as the day is nearing, the more i am feeling depressed. sigh.dunno why la. not looking forward to it. today is a depressing day. forcing myself to be happy, but deep down,i feel really down. grhhhhh....

camp is next week, and my stamina is flat:(.i haven't bought training shoes yet. prob buy this Tuesday or Wednesday. maybe Tuesday la.Wednesday too near camp Dy.will go mv, check if got. actually got, but just dam mahal. i sayang to buy so expensive, cz am going to use it to train, and it'l be used on rough surface.. so was thinking of goign to petaling street to buy. besides, not to say i am a tkd athlete. i only wear my uniform every december. i am not active. so a bi waste right, spend rm239 for a pair of shoes i only wear once a year?might as well buy from petlaing street, rm60-80 only. who cares if its original?right?doesn't make a dif. oh wait, it does. i might slip and fall if i buy those. hehehee.but oh well.. see how la.

October and November are horrible months for me. it's worse this November. with my work, and my personal life, despite having my birthday end of this month, but i would say it's the worse birthday I've ever had. no, ok, it's not over, but i know it's going to be a depressing one. maybe to outsiders, you won't know why, but i am not going to say why, but all i know is its a very depressing birthday:(..

I'm so stressed, till my period came late, and of all times, this month. i wanted it to come early, cz i am going for camp next Friday, seaside some more, then after that langkawi. believe me, the worse feeling is to have your period and train..some more wear white pants(our uniform)...gosh!with all the legs flying on air, and the splits, and stretching.. gosh!and i got history of staining. always!buuttt,, thank god my period came yesterday.. thanx to pineapples. i had to "induce" it out. i ate dam a lot of pineapples. and it came yesterday, but it came out brown. dark dark brown. not red. it look like i shit in my panties, but no, its not at my backside, it was in front. so obviously not. and i am not 3 years old to shit in my panties ok?some more no pain. that's dam shocking, cz every month, when it comes, i can barely walk!the pain is so painful, but now, no pain!but today, i finally can see it's getting red. not brown:)but not heavy la. prob need to continue eating more pineapples.hehehe.

then, my connection is so cibai. tiu betul la!i shall not elaborate more.. but just to let you know, it's sickening and cibaitic. TIUUU!

so u imagine la, with all this, how not to be depressed?ok.. there's more to what i wrote here. i am depressed over more serious substantial stuff ok?things worth calling problems!but it just adds to all this. sigh!i hate 2008. i hope 2009 is a better year for all of us. i know a lot of people hate this year, i hate it too!well cheers to a better 2009!:)