misunderstood!

I KEEP WONDERING, IS IT ME, OR IS IT PEOPLE AROUND ME?PEOPLE ALWAYS MISUNDERSTAND ME. I KNOW I AM SENSITIVE, I KNOW I AM HOT TEMPERED, I KNOW TO SOME PEOPLE, I AM NOT UNDERSTANDING ENOUGH, I AM NOT THE BEST THEY CAN GET, BUT I AM TRYING TO WORK ON MY FLAWS.I AM NOT SO SENSITIVE ANYMORE, I AM CONTROLLING MY TEMPER, I AM TRYING TO BE MORE UNDERSTANDING AND PATIENT!I AM TRYING!!!AND I CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE. BUT OTHERS DON'T. PEOPLE ARE NOT GIVING ME A CHANCE TO CHANGE!!!!WHEN ARGUMENTS HAPPEN, I ALWAYS ASK MYSELF, MAYBE IT'S ME, MAYBE I AM BEING OVER SENSITIVE, MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS, SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT, ETC..BUT AFTER YOU ASK YOURSELF, AND YOU CAN'T GET AN ANSWER, YOU STAR TO THINK IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, AND PEOPLE MISUNDERSTOOD ME, AND THEY THINK BECAUSE LAST TIME, THE OLD ADELLE WILL GET ANGRY AND SHE WILL DO THIS, DO THAT, BUT HAS ANYONE TRIED TO LOOK AT MY POINT, HAS ANYONE TRIED TO SEE IF ADELLE WONT REACT LIKE THIS ANYMORE, SHE'S CHANGING?I HAVE GOT A LOAD OF EGO ON ME. I ADMIT THAT AND I AM NOT PROUD OF IT. I AM TRYING TO WORK ON THAT TOO. BUT WHEN PEOPLE AROUND ME TRY TO DEFEN THEMSELVES AND MAKE ME LOOK LIKE THE VILLAIN, IT'S NOT FAIR, CZ I DID NOT DO ANYTHING,DID NOT THINK ANYTHING, I WAS JUST CURIOUS. IS IT WRONG TO EVEN ASK?WHEN PEOPLE SAY THINGS TO ME, I KEEP QUIET CZ I DON'T WANT TO MAKE THINGS WORSE. WHEN I ASK, IT BECOMES WORSE. IF THAT IS THE SCENARIO, I RATHER BE DEAF AND DUMB. LIFE IS PEACEFUL THEN. I HEAR NOTHING, I SPEAK NOTHING!!!I NEVER HAD ANY INTENTIONS OF ARGUING, BUT PEOPLE THINK I HAVE THAT INTENTIONS. I HAVE BEEN HURT SO MANY TIMES!I KNOW PEOPLE WILL SAY I AM SELFISH, AND I HAVE HURT PEOPLE WITH MY WORDS TOO, AND I AM AWARE OF IT, AND I AM SORRY. BUT IN THIS MATTER, I HAVE BEEN HURT FOR NO REASONS , WITH NO INTENTION OF ARGUING. MY THRESHOLD OF PATIENCE IS HIGH. IF IT WAS ME LAST TIME, I WOULDN'T BE BLOGGING HERE. I CAN ONLY EXPRESS MYSELF HERE. I TRY TO UNDERSTAND EVERYONE ELSE, BUT DOES ANYONE TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME?EVERYONE THINKS I AM FUCKING STUPID!CZ I AM THE ONLY STUPID ONE WHO WILL ASK IF JACK DANIEL IS STILL ALIVE, OR I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL ASK IF NARNIA ACTUALLY EXISTS.THAT IS JUST ME OK?I AM DUMB AND STUPID!!!I ASK STUPID QUESTIONS. WHO EVER READING THIS IS GOING TO SAY I AM TRYING TO GET SYMPATHY. I AM NOT FUCKING GETTING SYMPATHY HERE!!!I AM FEELING SHIT. CZ NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME. EVERYBODY THINKS THAT I WILL NEVER CHANGE. EVERYBODY THINKS WHEN I SAY SOMETHING, I WON'T DO IT. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE OF MY ATTITUDE LAST TIME. BUT WELL ,WHAT EVER LA!!I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. I KNOW IF I SAY SOMETHING, AND I REALLY WANT IT,I WILL DO IT!!I AM NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN TO ANYONE WHAT I WANT TO DO!!I SAY IT ONCE, IF PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE, THEN SUIT THEMSELVES!!!!!

AT THE END OF THE DAY, I AM ON MY OWN. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN, AND IT WILL STILL BE!