in loving memory of gong gong

7th April 2009-i was in the car, on the way to uni, around 845am.sister was driving, and her bag was behind. i heard my sister's 016 line ringing. only my mom, Cheryl and few others call that number. sister said "it's mama". so i stretched to get the phone, and already got a bit scared, cz mom never calls in morning. normally she'll message to say have a good day. and she won't call, cz mummy got tuition. but when i got the phone, i saw "mama". i picked up. and when she answered, she just asked where were we, and when i replied, she paused and said "gong gong passed away". it was the worse news to hear. i did not know how to react, i did not know what to say, because it's so hard to accept that piece of news. cz we did not hear anything bout grandpa being sick, and just the Friday before 7th April, dad was telling me and mom that gong gong was sitting in workshop, and was talking to dad bout some customer's car. i really did not know, then i just asked mama what happen, Wat time, mummy said she did not know, cz my grandma just called and cried and said "babak sudah mati".. nobody knew what happened at that time. so i hung up, told sister, both of us were shocked that we did not know how to react, what to say. then i quickly told sis bout hari ko-k which would be on 9th April. and i was dancing. so we reached fac, told Dr hanafi i cant attend class cz of this, then went to ips to tell kak siti. called her, and lucky everything was ok. i was excused. cz i have the death cert to show.

we rushed back, packed our stuff, and left straight to ti. at that moment, and even till now, it's so hard to believe the head of the Soo family is gone!!when i reached my grandma's house, we knelt down, and it was so sad when my grandma took us there, and said" ah sung, your eldest grandchildren have come to see you. oi me and oi yoon are here.". me and sis couldn't take it. gong gong is gone. it was so sad to see him lying on the plank of wood. the last we saw him he was so happy, smiling. and now he's there.

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from the time i was born, i had only my paternal grandparents. i knew them only as my grandmother and grandfather. and me and sis were the only grandchildren back then. though my grandfather wasn't the typical grandfather where we would play Chinese chess with him, or he'll sit and tell grandfather stories, or accompany him to go do tai chi in mornings. no, my gong gong wasn't the typical grandpa. he din talk much. maybe because me and sis could not speak Hakka for nuts, and maybe his Cantonese isn't very good. so our conversations were pretty much simple. and the one phrase me and sis would say in Hakka was "po po, chon ok ka" and gong gong, chon ok ka". which meant grandma I'm going home. and grandpa would answer, and smile. though we were not super super close, we knew my grandfather sayang-ed us a lot. he was the kind, if your very good, he won't say anything, if you're very bad, also he wont say anything. we sayang-ed him just as much too. we never failed him. we brought both my grandparents proud. to begin with, we were not school drop outs, we were not those really wild loose girls who has a zillion boy friends, we never stole, or smoked, or took drugs, we were doing ok in school, and most of all, we entered uni. my sister was the first person to enter local uni. then followed by me. my grandpa never said anything, but we knew he was very proud of us. the way he smiled when he saw us. he did what he could as a grandfather, and I've no regrets. the only thing is, he did not wait to see me graduate. he did not wait to see me in those robes with the four angle hat. sigh.

every year, any occasion, gong gong always sat in the marble table, and the four of us always sat with po po and gong gong. for the pass Chinese new years, there were a lot of conflict going on, between my dad and sister, my dad and grandfather, my dad and his brother, and it got worse, cz everyone would be in a long face, but it got better, and this year cny, it was one of the best reunions. because grandpa was smiling and happy, everybody was talking to everybody. and normally my grandpa, being a typical Chinese old man, wasn't very sporting. he never wanted to go anywhere, never wanted to participate in anything, but before Chinese new year, during dad's birthday, grandma called daddy to ask if wanna go dinner. so my dad said ok, we all thought my grandfather would not come, as usual, but he came. he and grandma came. and it was a very nice dinner, cz daddy was talking to them. this new year was a good one. i dunno why this year, i insisted on bringing my camera, and thank god i did, cz i took a lot of pictures, during his birthday. it was his last birthday, last birthday cake. the only regret i have is he did not get to see the picture i framed up. a beautiful picture of my grandma and grandpa during dinner. on Sunday, 5th April, i just got it done, and was telling dad on phone, "i just framed the pic for gong gong and po po. going to give them later", and on Tuesday, he passed on!sigh..life!!

it just hit me, we don't have a grandfather now. remember when we were much younger, grandpa would come back from work, then after his heart attack in 2001, he started slowing down his work,then every time we go to workshop, he would be sitting at the red chair, overlooking things. he did not work dy, cz of health problems. when he had his first heart attack, he was in ICU, i went to visit him. he couldn't talk, but he was so happy to see me.

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when we reached our granny's house, a sudden feeling of sadness hit us. the first funeral in that house. the solemness around it. and we saw gong gong laid there, before the coffin arrived. the whole funeral was a very simple and peaceful one, cz it was totally buddhist. no burning of money, house, maid etc. only chanting, flowers, incense, fruits. and on the last day, some of my grandfather's favorite dishes. very nice funeral. it was the last time i saw my grandfather.the last day, before they nailed the coffin, was very very sad. and to respect him, we went pass hock motor, to let him say good bye for the last time. anyway, it is his place. he built it.he is the boss of hock motor. my grandfather lived a good life!he lived to see all the main things happen. he got married, had children, witnessed all his children get married, had grandchildren, built his own business, from nothing to a big workshop, he had a tough life once, and worked hard, and towards the end of his life, he had it good.

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we cremated him on Thursday. on Friday, 10th April, we went to collect his ashes and bones. another very sad moment. to see and feel, that's all that's left of your loved one!. but we laid him to rest in temoh. very nice place. peaceful, and he has friends:D..today, 13th April 2009 was the 7th day. they believe today is the last day around, and after this, he will go to where ever he has to go. so today is the last time to say good bye to gong gong!where ever you are gong gong, may you be happy and may you rest in peace. we love you and miss you dearly.

p/s: pictures below are pictures taken during cny and his birthday. it was our last pictures taken. and that was the most recent ones. he went off looking exactly like that. and on 5th April, at night after ching ming, they all went for dinner, and my grandpa walked them out, to say good bye. that was the last good bye.

it was a good closure. for my grandpa. everything went smoothly. apparently, gong gong saw this coming. he kept telling his brother, "i cannot dy, i cannot"and i dunno if my grandma also knew, cz she always would tell my grandpa to cut his hair, he must always look neat and nice, cz if you go off, you must look handsome. and it was just few days ago, my grandma told my gong gong this, and 2 days before he passed away, he went for a hair cut. sigh!i also feel a bit guilty, i went to do facial on Saturday, and the stupid stupid kaypoh aunty kept asking how old is my grandpa, grandma, mother and father, and when i said 70, she said, "oh ok. not so old wat". some times it's people's eyes. sighhh!!anyway, here are some pictures of my late grandpa:).. may you rest in peace, gong gong.








a beautiful pic of my grandpa and grandma:)..this is the one i framed up for thme. gave it to grandma on saturday. she was happy, straight away put in her room:). will frame another one to put in our house.