insulted and humiliated

just wanted to tell you how i feel. i feel insulted, humiliated, and honestly, feel stupid and embarrassed.but it's OK, maybe it wasn't meant as an insult. but whatever la. i can't care now. people wanna make use of me, suit themselves, wanna insult me, also suit themselves. it doesn't matter anymore!

feel very weird. when i met all of you just now, i had to fake and pretend to be myself. I'm not comfortable doing that. cz i am not happy with how u guys treat me, but i have to pretend. i dunno how am i gonna do it, but no, i wont be a party pooper, i wont show a long face, i wont be extra quiet. i will be myself, cz i wanna enjoy myself. it's all your fucking lost, to treat me like that. not mine. i dun loose anything!!!!

I've got more important things to do. i will prove to everyone who once upon a time looked down on me, that i can do it. i did it once. people looked down on me, thought i couldn't act. go suck your own cock, cz i did a great job in my "lamaran". so to those who insult me, and think I'm stupid, and just a person they can use, well think what you want! i dun care anymore!i wont do anything to prove anything to you, but I'll prove to myself i can do it, i am NOT STUPID AFTER ALL.I HAVE TALENT, I AM NOT THE DUMB BLOND YOU THINK I AM. I MIGHT BE BLOND RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M NOT A DUMB BLOND!

anyway, i'm irritated here cz of all this, and i'm stuck in uni, cz it's so freaking jam. after exam, the BP area is so jammed, and i can't imagine whats the jam like on way back. so i got to stay here till 7pm. sigh. or later. that's just adding to my irritation and annoying feeling inside.

my exam wasn't that great, but it wasn't bad either. so yeah, another not so nice feeling. how great. tomorrow is french. so not prepared. dunno what I'm gonna vomit out for 2 hours.

on a happier occasion, was outside exam hall, when i was talking to abang rosman and kak hara. they made my day, cz they were encouraging me to apply here, apply there.and giving me so much support, and hugged me cz after this i wont be in uni dy ma. if i graduate. so yeah, felt sad at that time, cz i knew abang rosman since first year.(2006), and now I'm leaving. sigh!

anyway, think I'm gonna go back to lobby, study french a bit, then prob leave uni. if it's not so jam la. see u around.