yay but not yay

i just braided my hair. ermmmm.. looks ok.. but cant do much cz eddy said my hair is too short, layered!:(..i prfer my first time braides:(..will put up pics soon k?just took it. and i am in cc now. gonna tahan for 2 weeks:)..hahahaha.. the last ionly tahan for 2 days. not gonna let it happen again. hahha

busy day tomorrow. whole day in cm. got to go curve somemore at night. sigh..tiredd!!

sunday also same. and the shit part is i think i am going to fall sick.. fell weak, cold, and like body ache. what does it say?FEVER!!!!!oh no!!i cant fall sick now. gonan go swallow panadol after this. shit la...

anyway gtg niw.. i think the jam should be ok now. so see u next week:)

p/s: preview is next week. DIEEEE!!!(see, am dieing for anoter reason now, not french)hahahaahah.

rofl

ok, i know some of u are gonna laugh after reading this, but i had another weird yet farnie dream few days ago. omg, i dream t i was forced to become an indonesian maid in this really big house. dunno where, and my mom and dad was there, supporting me!omfg!so farnie..when i woke up i actually laughed.so so so stupid!!!!hahahahahahahahahahahaha

ok, going to continue memorizing. hehehehe

i am drinking soya bean now!:P

I SHOULD BE MEMORIZING MY SCRIPT, DRAFTING MY FRENCH ASSIGNMENT, DRAWING MY FAMILY TREE. AND WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING NOW????????KAY-POHING PEOPLE'S FACEBOOK PROFILE, SEARCHING FOR HER PROFILE, SEEING IF THAT GUY WE SAW IS HER BF. OMGGGGGG!!ADELLE, WHY ARE YOU SO NOSY????OMGGG OMGGG OMGG!!*SLAPS HERSELF*...

back!

couldn have rehearsal today, cz had to settle all the carerr fair thingy. omggg. so cibai!!!you know, all the music lecturers are so fucking cibai!!!omgggg!!one says hes not involved, and another says it's not his responsibility. IT'S NOT OUR FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY TO HANDLE MUSIC AND DANCE DEPARTMENT OK?why cant you handle your own department?and you had the fucking nerve to say yes when i asked if thats what they want?hello?do you think we got time to do for music and dance?its not our job!!GOSH!!SICKENING!!!SO MUCH WORK TO DO. I GOT TO WORRY BOUT MY REHEARSAL, AND BECAUSE OF ALL YOU IDIOTIC PPL, I CANT HAVE, CZ NEED TO SETTLE THIS. STUPID!!!!!!!!

OMGGGGG.. AKU NAK GILA NI!!!!SO MANY THINGS IN MY HEAD!!!

bdw, i donated blood yesterday. was a bi painful. gosh, the needle is super huge. but only for a while pain. less then 3 seconds. so its ok. i feel so good. next to sign up for organ donating. :)

got my phone and number on monday!still quite sad, but nothing can be done right?well.. just got to be super super super careful in future.

got an essay/assignment for french!die die!!its always french right that i die.ahhahaa.yeah but got work to do.

will be in pasar seni on saturday and sunday, 11am-6pm for the arts career fair. we're representing drama department in cultural centre, um. after that got to go watch show at dbkl. so its a long day on saturday., but its ok!:)

going out tomorrow with bsfu girls and one guy. yan ling cant join. so he'll join the next. but for tomorrow, going to sun way pyramid and then later going for steam boat at yuen!yayyyyyy!:D

cant have much rehearsal this week cz adi is involved in the show this weekend. so starting from next week, it's day and night. :(..

anyway think wanna go continue doing tags on fb. catch up soon:P

consolation..

oh i'm back. haha.. went for training today. it was ok.. quite basic but enough to tire me!. butttt i was quite pleased with my performance today, though my reverse kick is in the pitts..but yau said my other kicks and even reverse kick got power. though no training.. but its quite strong...so i am happy for today's training!something to boost me.

then madam said to strengthen legs and muscles, do squats every day. no need do a lot. do in bathroom while washing hair or smth.. multi task. then sit ups, before go out 10, come back 10. no need to do all together. split it. enough to get flat tummy and strong muscles. so squats and sit ups here i come. but not today and tomorrow, cz my body pain!but yeah.. after next week perhaps. hehe.

ok.. got to run.. dinner time. and bed time!!!so see u people around!chaoz

5am

freaking 5am bus!which means waking up at 4am. who gets up at 4am and gets into bus at 5am?*adelle soo*.urghh!!!it's a long long long day!!reach kl at 8am, go to uni, sit in cafe till 10am, go for french. come back, have lunch with yi jing, then get car keys from Chris, then go one u with yi jing to get new Sim card, then come back, have rehearsal, then go mid valley wait there till 730-8pm to get new phone, then 9pm go back um, get car drive home ALONE!omggggg!!!!first time driving home alone. i am dam scared!but i have no choice!some more at night. then on Tuesday morning also alone. sis gone to langkawi!omggg!then Tuesday is no better. my schedule is so tight!. 7am till 10pm. wed no diff.. 10am-10pm. Thurs 9am-5pm, Friday not sure.. Saturday and Sunday 10am-11pm. in pasar seni- for the annex career fair. we got to be there. it's for our assignment. and got to watch show on Saturday night.

next week is no better. cant wait for 28th-29th march 2009. pheww!anyway gonna shower now then do my work!din touch it this weekend!so prob see u guys around. have a good week ahead ok?

disappointment

to all my readers who were looking forward to seeing pictures of my delicious but soft cookies.. sorry to say but no pictures. becauseeeee it was in my phone, and that cibai stole my phone. i din transfer it yet and it had to go!so no pictures of the delicious peanut butter cookies i baked on Saturday!but it was good!;).. according to Jacky and yau!though bit soft!but taste gooood!at least there was something to cheer me up after the whole day of drama!when yau and Jacky told me my cookies was actually nice. and even Jacky's gf said its nice. so yeah, thumbs up to Adelle.and hail the baker!hahahaha..

no, i am still mad and sad and angry and boiling and annoyed and pissed and disappointed with what happened today. not getting sympathy!but I'm not really in the best est of moods now. but yeah!but anyway, good bye my dearest booboobaabaa. may you be happy with whoever who buys you. and may that person treat you well. adieu my baby!

yau, i know you dropped it, and u feel it's all your fault. but i am not blaming you k?it's also my fault cz i should have kept my phone. i asked a favor from you. so i shouldn't blame you. sorry i caused so much drama today. thanx for helping me out and trying to get the phone etc.. thanx a lot.!I'm not angry at you. angry at that paria only!

and to nick, thanx for even offering me a spare phone!and reloading for me after i told u my old prepaid is barred!thanx a lot!;)

to Jacky, thanx for being so supportive and trying to calm me down!when i could have gone on and on!

to papa, thanx for advice, and the spare phone!and thanx for not lashing out at me!i feel like crying now, (act i am tearing now) cz its so traumatic. phones and wallet lost once, was bad enuf. now again. and the best part is this phone i dam sayang cz i bought myself.. all my money!sighh..and all my contacts lost. so anyone who happens to read my blog, please msg me at 0164105105. not using that number now cz i canceled it. but will be using it asap. so please please please keep in touch and text me your number.

i can hardly walk now!body and legs is so painful, cz went for training today. it was good, but sigh. din end the right way!everywhere pain, and tomoro got to do so many things!sigh..

thsi blog is dedicated to you...

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!YOU FUCKING STOLE MY PHONE!IN LESS THEN 5 MINUTES!YOU BASTARD. I REALLY HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!I HOPE YOU DIE!AND HOPE MAYBE SOMEONE WILL STEAL YOUR PRECIOUS PROPERTIES AND THEN WHEN IT HAPPENS, I HOPE YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID ON 22ND FEBRUARY 2009 AT 11.15AM IN THE MARKET!. STUPID SIAL PUNYA BABI CELAKA!
I SAVED ALL MY MONEY, TO BUY THIS PHONE, AND NOW YOU STEAL IT. FUCKING ASSHOLE!AND TO MAKE THINGS EVEN FUCKED, I CANT GET THE BLUE ONE ANYMORE. CZ IT COMES OUT IN SEASON. AND NOW ITS ALL BLACK AND WHITE. FUCKING CIBAI!!!!!!!!YOU DO KNOW BLUE IS THE PRETTIEST?YOU ASSHOLE?AND SO WHAT, YEAH I CAN BUY NEW PHONE. BUT WHAT ABOUT MY CONTACTS?WHAT BOUT MY IMPORTANT BIRTHDAYS AND NOTES?STUPID STUPID STUPID PARIA!!!THAT IS THE NAME FOR YOU. TO MY INDIAN READERS, NO OFFENSE. BUT IS PEOPLE LIKE THEM THAT DESERVE THAT NAME. PARIA!GO WORK LA. ALL YOU KNOW IS TO STAND AND WATCH, AND STEAL OR RAPE OR ROB!FUCKING ASSHOLES. SCUMS OF SOCIETY. I REALLY BELIEVE IN KARMA. AND ANYONE WHO READS THIS TELLS ME NOT TO CURSE, DON'T TELL IT TO ME!CZ YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE STEPPING ON MY TAIL AT THIS VERY MOMENT!SO IF YOUR NOT GOING TO BITCH WITH ME, DON'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING. TIU!!!IDIOTIC SEI CHAO HAI!!YEAH I KNOW HE GOT NO HAI. BUT WHATEVER LA. STUPID KAN NI NIEH(WHATEVER IT'S SPELLED)DUNNO WHAT KIND OF CHILDREN THE MOTHER GIVE BIRTH TO. IF MOTHER IS ALIVE, SHE MUST BE SO SAD TO HAVE CHILDREN LIKE THIS. IF THEY ARE DEAD, THEY BE STIRRING IN THEIR GRAVE NOW!BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!GO SUCK COCK LA!STUPID FUCKING TURD!!!!!FUCKING SHIT FACE..SHIT HOLE.. ASSWIPE!!!CONNIVING SIAL PUNYA PUKI!

success!

baked peanut butter cookies today. shall put up pictures tomorrow cz its in phone. forgot to bring nikky back!but it was a success. not as successful as the blueberry cheese tarts, but it is nice. but i think too much butter, cz its kinda crumbling!but its good!so yeah:)*bravo Adelle bravo**tui bonne*hahahahahhaha ok that meant "your good". supposed to be saying it to myself.wtf?ghahahahahahahaha... anyway going for tkd tomorrow. told daddy duwan go to church tomorrow cz i really wanna sweat it out and let everything out, and i miss my pals. so yeah, daddy said ok!:D so i shouldn't be blogging now. i should be tucked in my bed and snoring now!.so see u tomorrow. Au revoir readers!bonne nuit!:)

my first......

was just thinking bout all my first times.. i know, it's randoms. but it was after i did the tag on fb tagged by Cynthia.. so jut got me thinking on more first times..hehehe

my first rose: from sir mahes:P...still keeping it ok?and i was in standard 2(1994):P
my first crush:in 1996(i know you be expecting the name.. but NO!no name for this statement)hahahahahaha.
my first guy which had a huge crush on me: 1994.. also no name allowed..
my first period: march 13th 1999:P i can remember cz the next day(march 14th) was my piano theory exam in SM. horley Methodist.
my first time being a monitor:2000..form 2
my first hp: Siemens..cant remember the model.. lousy phone!:(.. that was in 2003.
my first bf:2004(also no name allowed).hehehe
my first kiss:2004..obviously my first ex:P
my first dance: with wei loon(mei xiong's sweet 16th birthday) or was it 15?cant remember.. but it was either 2001 or 2002.
my first tournament: 1996.
my first scar: 1996-on my knees)
my first gift from a guy: 2003 November( a packet of famous Amos cookies)awwww..from my first ex
my first time cooking: 2000-chicken chop..during living skills class:)
my first time staying out: 2000(girl guide camp in pangkor island)
my first leadership camp:2002 in Taiping with ping ping
my first pair of sun glasses: 2004-after spm.. from daddy
my first time wearing braces:Feb 28th 2003.
my first chain-from mummy
my first swatch: in 2006.. from bebeh:)
my first Adidas watch:2001 from daddy
my first anklet: from mummy.. after pmr
my first tournament away from ti: 2002 in Cameron highlands
my first performance on stage-2007 February 24th-26th. jerung vs yu di chow kit. the best show ever!!!i was the hooker:P
my first salary:December 2005(gibb and co)
my first surprise birthday celebration:2006 November 28th. in pelita ss2, and jian's house.unforgettable and touched!:D
my first time away from home:2006 July 2nd. when i left for um to study.
my first valentines flowers: 2008(from my 4th ex)
my first sorry flowers: 2008..also from 4th ex
my first digital camera: 2007 November
my first tkd camp:2005-Cameron highlands(smksas)
my first most expensive birthday present-hp.from 4th ex
my first laptop(ok..i am still using it ok)july 2005
my first bicycle: 1995.from daddy
my first trip with a guy(my ex): 2006(langkawi)
my first time clubbing:2007 June-with bebeh, Chris, Ron at q-bar, sunway!
my first pair of crocs: November 12th 2007;)
my first mp3 player-creative muvotxfm-march 2006..from mummy(after stpm):P
my first sports shoes:1996(puma)-the one which was super big for my foot.hahahaha-from daddy
my first lava lamp:Christmas 2008.from bebeh and Chris:)
my first ex:2004
my first 2nd ear hole piercing-2001 after pmr
my first enemy-1999(but we're friends now)hehehe
my first knitted master piece:February 2009(which is now)hahahaha
my first time to malacca-1996- with family and uncle ah tiong
my first time to genting highlands-1996-with uncle ah tiong
my first camping trip: 2001 march-malacca(girl guide camp)
my first time staying in camp and in school:2002-smk convent, teluk intan.
my first time bathing in school toilet with ping: 2002- smkc(same camp as above)
my first time to tioman island:2007 may with yi jing, amy, jordann, casey:)
my first time holding a cigarette bud: June 2007(Cameron highlands)- BUT I DON'T SMOKE OK?
my first time skipping school and going out of ti:august 2005(went to waterfalls with my 2nd ex and my class mates):P..and i was in upper 6, mind you!hahahahaha. never knew i would do it, but yeah. it was fun.hahahahaha
my first time heart broken:June 2004
my first time wearing baju kurung:2002-form 4
my first time being in the dean's list:2007-first year, 2nd sem:)
my first time being a liaison officer-July 2006(mommy for la salle university manila).. one of the best memories:)
my first time wearing a sari: 1999 in school
my first time being a flower girl:i was four years old. lazy to count the years. was flower girl for judy:)
my first sleepover:2000.in ping's house:)

actually the list can go on.. but i think that's all i can remember now. when i remember more, i shall edit k?

i miss you!!!

i miss you!i really do!i wish i din let go!those were the days when we used to hang out together, go around together. awwww!!i know you'll never come back to me!.will you be ok if i find another one?and do all the same things together, like what we did before?I'm sure you wont mind right?i really miss you la.. my bicycle!.

muahahahahahahhahahahahaah.... did i make anyone feel curious?wtf?hahahha.. anyway, i miss my bike la. i seriously miss cycling around the taman. then getting chased by dogs, and lettign the bike glide on the road with my legs on the bar.wtf?ahhahaha.. love cycling. be it slow or fast. wonder if its expensive to buy the normal mountain bikes now. i know it goes up to thousands..but the normal one?just to cycle around.. and to tone my thighs. went to mom's friends house. saw my bike and sis's one there. (since we were in kl dy, mom asked me if it was ok to give our bikes to aunty shanty's sons. cz they are twins. and they r boys, and their young. and since we not using it, why waste right?so i said ok lo.. no, i dun mean to say i want it back. i am not a buruk siku ok?just when i saw it, i really thought of my cycling days. i even use to cycle for tuition. ttl, Mr chew, and accounts. awww.. maybe should save up my money, and buy a bike. oh well. lets see how that goes huh?but for now, i miss her badly.!my bike!i still remember, daddy bought it for me.. cz i did well in standard 3. my final exam. mine was black with splashes of red. yokohama brand. my sis's one was black with splashes of purple. so yeah, but hers was lerun. but it ws so nice, cz both of ours looked alike. so when we go cycling was quite nice.but well, its godo to see at least sasi and sarath are taking good care of them. saw both of them yesterday. look good and clean.so yeah.. happy at least. but yeah, planning to get another bike:Psee how la.hehehe

sleepy

supposed to put up a post.. bout something. but i am sleepy. so i shall keep this for tomorrow.good night:)

those were the days!!!rofl

went to mom's friends house with mom. she wanted to pass something to her. so went in, yack yack, and this lady has 2 sons, twins. and they come to my mom for tuition. only form 1 la. not even 13 yet. still l2. then my mom was telling her that her sons don't like girls now. they told my mom they hate girls. and my mom told them they still young. when their in form 3 they would wanna sit in front or next to them. normal la. right?guys "grow" up ma. then when she said all this, it got me thinking to my days last time. when i was in standard 4-6. when i used to sit aunty mah's car to go to school. and there was this guy, my age, in sasti. also sit in aunty mah's car. his name is peng han la. we used to fight with each other. he used to call me names. and all just because aunty mah always let me and li yan sit in front. and he wanted to sit in front. i still remember how annoying he was back then. and he probably thought i was annoying too. cz he used to call me all sorts of weird names, which included making fun of my dad's name.. which is soo. so me being that girl, also made fun back and called him names, all involving his dad's name too. cz his sir name is fan ma. so i used to call him mr fan(as in encik kipas). and he used to hate it. it was so annoying back then, but now when i think bout it, it's just so farnie!he and this guy, cant remember his name.. stay near his house one.. alven is it?i cant remember.. aahh.. the father sell seremban siew pow one. this boy was like peng han's side kick. he would just laugh. she would just laugh when he called us names. she got it too. cz her sir name was foo. so yeah.. obviously a farnie sir name too right?so farnie. every day when we sit in the car sure fight one. until if i am not mistaken, aunty mah always would scold us, cz we were just so annoying. but we grew up.. and now we hardly even talk. maybe shy or we just grew up la.hahahahaha. but that was a nice thought. hahahahhah

when i look back, i got so much memories with people, friends. memories worth laughing and laughing and laughing!!me and ping, me and yun. gosh!still remember in form 3, during tan teik lam's tuition, i think it's science la. me and yun bought this huggggge ass lolipop, with bubble gum inside, it was seriously big and one lolipop was rm2.50. i remember i bought it in boon huat just before going for tuition. i walked there before 230pm, bought it and me and yun ate it while having tuition, and believe me, that lolipop took me almost 5 hours. i started eating it at 230pm, finished that dam thing at round 8pm.(ttl's tuition was fun. even the guys used to buy goreng pisang and eat there.. with huge bottle of coke. p/s: wai kit, i think it's you right?if i am not mistaken, i remember it was u holding the bag of goreng pisang.)hahahaha.. imagine?but me and yun had fun doing it. then still remember how we would say wanna go jogging, but will jog for 5 minutes, walk for one hour and on way back, will stop at boon huat and buy potato chips and eat while walking back. so contradicting right?i know!then also remember how yun dunno how to cycle, then she insisted on learning. and used my sister's bike. and when she got on it, she cycled and fell. and i was laughing behind her. that scene was so farnie!i know, i am mean to laugh at people fall, but i dunno, its just dam farnie!!!:P

then in form 4, the honey moon year, me, ping and another malay girl was selected to go for this camp kepimpinan la. each school 3 reps. so 3 of us represented convent, and sasti 3 guys. (no names allowed to be mentioned).ahhahahaahhaahah. so went to taiping. me and ping being like those spoilt kids, we brought everything. from biscuits, to alarm clocks, to potato chips, to everything la. you know girls right?and at that time when we checked in, they gave us each one big palstic bag to put all this in and hand up to them. they said its a camp to toughen up. so all this not allowed. so when we put all our stuff in, the plastic bag not big enuf ma. the alarm clock was on top. wehn we tied it up and gave them, they checked the stuff and at that very moment, the alarm clock rang, cz ter tekan the button, omgggg!!so embarassing. nvmd. then during camp, we were divided into groups. so me and ping were separated. and when we sat in groups on the floor, this guy(from sasti..also no names allowed) he sat next to me. ey no... he was the leader of his group, i was leader of my group, and ping was in his group. then during one of the talks, ping sat behind him, and means next to me la. we had nothing to do, and something funny cought our attention. we noticed this guy was wearing his socks upside down. hahahahaahha.. and me and ping couldn't stop laughing. and ping challenged me to ask him. and omfg, i did ask him. "ey x, your socks terbalik r"?and you know the most embarrassing part is, he answered bluntly, "yeah i know". and omggg!!i felt like i could disappear in the air. i just looked in front. ping couldn't stop laughing. we both had to control cz if we were caught, sure kena denda one!that was one. i cant exactly remember what else happened during that camp. if i do, i will edit k?
(oh, bdw, the reason why we din like this guy is cz he always picked a bone with me particularly. no idea why. i was those snooty ones, and never bothered bout all guys. but he always picked on me. i never likd him cz in ttl's tuition, me and yun will be talking, and out of nowhere he would say "tolong senyap" or jangan bising" loudly. and everyone will know its for us. so i quite benci him. thats why in camp i din really like him dy. )

then in school, had some really funny funny moments with my besties. yun, stephanie, priya. gosh!4 of us were crazy. and the one who was the master mind was priya and yun. yun was the daring one. and the ideas came from priya. me and stephanie would laugh and play along. but it was so funny. in convent, (lib)there's this room for only form 3 and 5 students to use. it's called "bilik diskusi lo. so me and my pals always would go there, not to study or discuss anything, but to sleep and eat and talk!form 5 mind you. nak exam. but this was what we do la. and there was this girl, her name is tamarai. she's form 3. fucking annoying!she was a librarian. then every time she would say "tolong jangan bising. ini adalah perpustakaan". then priya being the dare devil and thek ind who don't like people telling her off, and of course la. some kuchy fry telling us to shut up. what we would do is when she and her friends enter the discussion room, we spot her shoes, and then we go out, and throw her shoes right down the stairs. and hide it some more. then when we r inside the room, we eat fishballs and guava, then hide the packets under carpet. NOT MY IDEA OK?priya's. then in form 5, you know our teachers will ask us to buy those score a for spm?then cik nora( our history teacher) asked us to buy this book by some good writer. then when we got the book, we were in the science lab, having science. then this priya and yun came out with this brilliant but mean idea. they said they were going to play prank calls. they really did it.guess what they did, they went to the public phone and said this: "abang, abang tak ingat ke semalam".they couldn tahan, hung up and burst out laughing. gosh!they were very daring.

then another time, we had accounts tuition. but i cannot mention this here. not even a hint!cz i am very embarassed with what we did. and it was pings idea. tapi aku dapat nama buruk. she was the culprit!.ish!but we laughed a lot too. something only 4 of us know. and 5.hehehe.of course he knew bout it. but it remains under the carpets:P

when i tihnk back, i really had great times when i was younger. not saying am not now. but i was much daring back then. now err.. actually i am more daring now. but oh well..

home

just came home!gonna take mom out later. to go see Dr. mom might be doing a minor surgery. so go and consult first lo. if can do today, then will do today. if not tomorrow. might be baking cookies tomorrow. depending on time etc.

got so much things on my mind la. sigh!can't wait for march 29th to be over. then all of us can scream dy!!yayyy!but exams not over yet la.hahahaha. after April 27th i will be screaming non stop. but that also means babai to everything. goodbye to my friends, my uni life, goodbye to life as a student. cz i definitely wont be doing my masters.i will miss those days. but at the same time, i wanna start working, earning money! being on my own!so yeah!

je suis desole

i am truly sorry for what i said. though you do not know i said it cz i din say it to you, but i am truly sorry. i really believe in karma. and i din mean to blurt it out when i heard it. i really din mean it!it just came out. I'm really sorry. i hope your ok. it just annoys me how young people are so spoil t nowadays, but that is how it works now. so i shouldn't think and say it. your one of my good friends. i shouldn't have said it. I'm really really sorry. feel rotten for saying it out. and i hope god will forgive me for saying that. I'm so sorry.i know karma bites real hard. well it can hit me.it's fine. but dun hit my loved ones!I'm sorry again!

awwww..but not awwww

was having rehearsal just now, then had break, so was chatting with adi..then was chatting about x, x's ex, and then came this topic bout jerung vs yu, and the musicians. he told me that the drummer(refuse to mention name) the drummer was interested in me. omgg, why i am so thrilled is cz i thought he was cute too.. but the sucky feeling is that guy had a gf, and he brought her for the show. asss!!!i know!!got gf, but when gf not thre, checking out other girls!.ass!but yeah, thrilling cz i did think he's cute too. ask ev, amy and yi jing, they knew i liked him.hahahahahaha..but anyway, nothing would have happened even if he had no gf, cz he's a malay!so big no no. but its a nice feeling to know he did think i was ok la. hahahaha.

french grammar

french grammar is nonsensical. just finished test. the translation and answering questions was fine. but the grammar????so hard and confusing. dunno where to use un, une, des, la, le, les, l', mo,ma,mes, tu, ta tes, son sa, ses. what nonsense?lecturer prob gonna laugh his head off when he reads our answers. hahahahaha.

am in sis lab. using wireless. got rehearsal at 3pm. till dunno what time. oh well..

prob going back this weekend, cz adi got bumping in for another show this weekend. so no point i stay back kat kl kan?besides.. i wanna go back bake tarts, to finish up ingredients, and since got permintaan, so got to make lo.:P..but i really wanna make jam tarts and curry puff again. the nexxt i go back k?

tomoro exam!!!

i want to die. i dunno how and what to study for french. omggg!!!bdw, presentation went well, EXCEPT that stupid machibai had to ask some stupid idiotic question which wasn't even in topic. and had the fucking nerve to say our topic is not right. fucker!!!stupid old man. go suck cock la!!

anyways, dunno whats the plan tomorrow. sigh. got to ask adi. think am gonna continue uploading pics and study french. so see u tomorrow perhaps. seriously freaking out tomorrow. sigh!see u anyway!babai!

nak kencing

i need to take a leak, but no one to take care of my laptop and bag. waiting for yi jing, then will go have lunch before class. got presentation later. hari ini aku pakai baju kedah untuk presentation. bebeh punya.tapi aku lupa ambil gambar.tapi, selesa:).. nak buat la baju kurung dan kebaya.hehehehehehe.

today i have a long long day. calss at 12pm-3pm, then got to do some translation with yi jing(i am getting paid fyi) hahahaha..so i have to do it.;P, then 530-730 got class, then 830-10.30 got rehearsal. after that go back, have dinner kat vichudas(tom yamm):) then studyyyyy!!!mourir mourir mourir!!!!!

see u later if i have time.tata!wish me luck for presentation later:P

its back to reality

just came back from port dickson and gentings. was a fantabulous weekend!!:D.. but now, it's back to assignments, presentations, rehearsals(ok...rehearsals will end on march 2009).yohooooooo!!!!that's half the burden off my chest!!!!!but it's not off yet, so i shouldn't be happy. i got so much in my little head. omggggg!!!nak meletup ini. sepatutnya aku buat aku punya presentation. but look what i'm doing now!!!blogging.wtfffff?sigh.. anyway, will upload my pictures in a while. meanwhile i got to go do my presentation slides and study french. aku akan mourir pada hari rabu!!!tolong la sembahyang untuk aku!!!!

i should be studying now

just finished rehearsal for the weekend. satisfying!:).. but super tired(oh nothing new right) and super hungry.. :(. i should be studying now. i got french test on Wednesday. i got lots of assignments due. i still can't find info on my asas tarian rakyat. sigh. instead, i am blogging here and doing tags. *sampat*.. ok lo.. i better go do abit. bdw, am going gentings with bebeh and Chris tomorrow. din wanna go cz duwan to be like lamp post, but they insisted. so ok:).. and on Saturday going PD with Stephanie and her sis and her cousins. gonna chill there for one night. so i shall see all of u on Monday prob yeah?happy valentines day:)and have a great weekend ahead.

the connection is so the cb

i finally can online using my perdana mail account. *allam dulilah* but it's not that great. it's freaking the slow. had 2 sessions of rehearsals today. later got meeting, then at 6pm-8pm another session. last session for the weekend!. and i am finally getting the hang of it,we both are feeling the chemistry, and learning to get into character. happy, and hoping will be in more character. *prays*:P

anyway, gotta run for meeting now. see ya later if i have time. after 8pm i think!babai

so so tired

i am so tired. can feel my eyes burning while i type this, but got rehearsal later. tomoro is full day too. with rehearsals. having the weekend off, so got to really practice tonight and tomoro. sigh!now problem coming up, we might not be doing it in mtc, becasue the new rule is we have to freaking pay!!!!one nighth 1000. how to afford?at first normally no need to pay. it's a new rule. so now it most prob will be at museum negara!:(:(:(:(.. hate that place!sheesh!hopefully it's ok lo. sigh.

okla, got to get back to memorizing. today wanna see if can go on with rehearsal without script!!.so yeah!

ITS TARIAN CANGGUNG

OMGGG.. IT'S TARIAN CANGGUNG.NOT TARIAN CANGKUL*SHY*.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

pheww

back in lab. went to see my PA just now. thank god, everything was ok. at first, i panicked for a moment, cz my lecturer did not know what to do, saying that i might not be able to graduate cz i din take tak lempong. then she checked with the penyelaras, etc, and phew, they said i can use french as my luar jabatan. as long its out of drama. annddd again, i felt a dash of disappointment, cz my lec saw my png and pngk, and said it's ok. but she stressed on getting 3.7 above in this sem. saying that i can and i should get 3.7. omgggg!!!stresssss!!!i din know all my lecs had so high hopes on me!its good, but now i feel stressed. my lec even underlined the "3.7" and highlighted it. and before i went out, mentioned again. omggggg!!!!i have to do wellll!!

then, next wed got french test. gigi straight!it's written test, thank god!!!!but that also can die straight!!!shitttt sahittt shittt!

had our first meeting for the career path thingy. me and yi jing in charge of getting the music and tari department to send a team to represent their team. went to ifnd dr chong, he says its not in his hands, ask to go see dr pan. go see Dr pan, dr pan says Dr chong shouldnt lepas tangan. so who to believe?nonsense.!later will go find pak sukarji for tari department!.

dunno what am gonna do now. prob knit and read, or maybe memorize script. got rehearsal tonight ma.

see u later maybe..if i am free or bored.meanwhile, enjoy ur day today. au revoir!

i had a dream!!!

oh, before i go back to lala land, i must put this up. i had a dream!. yeah i know, everyone has dreams. but i had a weird dream, yet a dream i wouldn't want to forget for the rest of my life!

not going to put in details, CZ in the dream, a lot of people are in it, and i do not want to quote names, and some of them are my readers. so yeah, but in a nut shell:P(gosh, i used to use that phrase in English essay in form 4-5).haha.. anyways, this dream involved him, him, her, him, her, me, Leonard(dam weird..Leonard is my cousin's hubby).hahahaha and this super Afro Indian guy(dunno who is he.but found his hair super duper farnie).i always find Afro ppl farnie. their hair!!!!not them!. and also involved a lot of drama, crying, explanation, proving smth, advising, and the part which i will cherish the most is the hugging!awwww. i can remember that feeling!. but yeah, it was and will be a dream i will not forget for a long long time.wish it happened in reality though!:(..but anyway, yeah.. who knows i sleep now, can continue it. but i doubt it. prob imagine it. not really dream it.heheheheh. anyway, got to sleep. see you later. babai.

wakey,wakey!

its 6.24am, and i am sitting in front of the screen, staring at it dumbly, CZ my brains are not awake. yeah, obviously!!!am in my sister's lab now!all alone. yeah man, all alone in IPS. it's a spooky place!at this hour, but it's OK, going to sleep after this.hehehe. sister went for field trip to Carie island(dunno how it's spelled). so had to follow her to uni lo. i got to see my PA at 930am in her office, which means got to leave ips at 9am, then french class in linguistics at 10am-12pm, then break for one hour, then meeting for project/assignment at 1pm-2pm, then i got a lonnng lonnng break till 830pm. at 830pm i have rehearsal for our show!. so which means i have a lonnnng day today!:(but I'll get thru it!:)anyway, going to continue sleeping till 9am. can feel the sleep dy. see u later at 230pm.:)good night..:P

bosann!

aku bosan!aku banyak kerja, tapi tad de mood!aku click semua orang yang online, tetapi tak de yang reply. semua orang busy. ishh!aku pun busy, tetapi malas nak buat kerja!hahahhaha.. memanglah padan muka kalau kerja tak siap.

esok pagi aku ada appointment dengan penasihat academic aku. aku takut la. dia tu garang, lagi-lagi kalau dia memberitahu aku yang pengambilan sunbjek aku ada problem. sigh!!!harap-harap tak de la. okla. aku nak pergi makan dulu yeh lepas tu ada class. jumpa esok ye?babai!

i am back

i am back, after class. no presentation. ishh!wear formal for no use. presentation is next week. annnddd next week has to be good, cz if it's god, no need to do individual assignment. so must be good!!!!

gonna have lunch with yi jing at baguzzz after this, then go for class at 530pm.tomorrow is a hectic but boring yet longggg day. it starts at 5am.yes, 5am. and ends at 10.30pm.. and the worse part is i got break from 2pm right till 830pm. what the hell am i going to do??????shitt la!!sigh!actually i got a lot to do.. i got to look up info on my assignments!so yeah!.

a lot of things to do. so much assignments, script, acting, andddd major big project/assignment. representing UM in promoting drama department, cultural centre on 28th feb in annex, central market. THANK GOD its a group project. if not, I'll die straight.basically we have to market our department, and promote it to recruit new students. so thats a big project with lots of planning, lots to do, AND THE WORSE PART, that is NOT our final assignment. IT'S ONLY PART OF IT.sighh.then got our theater asia group assignment, but THANK GOD AGAIN, it's on bunraku.(japanese puppet theater) not saying it's easy, but its easy to get information. so *allam dulilah* and *puts hands up*.

rehearsal resumes back tomorrow. and the night classes officially starts tomorrow. sigh!!!!thats why i finish at 10.30pm.

run, baby run

ok childen, i gotta run for class now!. tinjauan theatre asia finished early today, cz lecturer had meeting, so we watched a video, did a report and handed up, had branch with dina, and came here to express myself.:P..dam facebook. couldn open. :(.. anyway gotta run for next class which is at 12pm-3pm. gosh!!3 hours class. and today is presentation.. not prepared but hopefully all our bulshitting skills are useful today. after 3pm, got 2 hour break, then asas tarian rakayat at 530pm. thats fun. learning new dance. asas cangkul:)but i still prefer joget.hehe. but kak siti said joget and cangkul are sisters. lol!!so if i have time, will see all of u later. if not, have a good week ahead to all of you. au revoir!!!:D

vaseline!what do you think?

remember i blogged bout me being cacat, with the extra bone at the side of the feet?and my legs hurt like hell after wearing Alice for the whole day?it was bugging me. then yesterday, when i was out for breakfast with wai kit, i showed him Alice, and ask him if its nice, and while i was talking to him bout Alice and his shoes, and jeans, this funny but might be useful idea ran across my mind. WHAT IF i applied Vaseline on my extra cacat bone and maybe it will be smooth when i wear Alice, and it wont hurt?i dunno, it might sound stupid, but i dunno. can anyone reading my blog advice?pleasee?i really need to find a way to wear Alice in comfort. wait, you all know what is Vaseline right?that petroleum jelly, people normally use for dried chapped skin, cracked elbows, chapped lips(i use it for that solely):P and of course, for some, they use vaseline for err..oral. hahahah.. ok too much info for those under aged readers.:P.anyways, yeah, what do you think?but right if i use Vaseline, my Alice will be all oily, and slimy and bit the geli!right?so anyone can advice me on that?thanxx a lot!:)

your still the same!

last week, after cny, when we were in the bus station in ti(when parents dropped us off), i saw this guy.. my class mate in form 6. his name is teh teik seong la. sasti guys will know him, i think!!he was getting in the same bus to go back kl.but i dunno if he saw me, but when both of us look at each other, some how our eyes just never met. i was shy to look at him, and he, obviously the same. oh wait, let me give a brief intro bout him. i can count the words i talked to him for the whole 2 years. i think that sentence explains all right?he is painfully shy. being the only chinese guy in the class, he wont talk to us also(me, tzyy yun and yu jiin).. despite taking all same subjects.end of the year, when we wanted to take picture with him, he stood next to us like we had some kind of disease. seriously, shy giler..but he's quite cute. tzyy yun had a major crush on him. yeah, yun had some major crushes on 2 sasti guys. one in form 3(mum's English tuition-Friday night which was my group la)haha and now in form 6. anyway, yeah, so saw teik seong there.. we got in same bus, then in duta, was lining up to buy taxi coupon, he was behind me, but again, we both were so shy to look at each other. each time we look, our eyes wont meet. oh well, he's still the same, and for me, i guess that brave Adelle once upon a time has died so the chicken coward Adelle is born, so i did not dare look at him and approach him too. hahaha.. so that was that day.

i came back last Friday for the weekend, and yesterday, uncle murali sent me to bus station, cz daddy is outstation ma. he sent me at 435. so i sat down at the bench, waiting for bus to arrive, when i look up and see teik seong, again, also going back to kl in the same bus. omgg!!!is this fate or what?and the best part is, he sat next to me on the bench, but din look at me at all. then i thought maybe i should just say "hi teik seong, remember me, adelle?the noisy one in class in form 6" or smth like that. hahaha. but when i turned and looked at him, AGAIN, we din look at each other. when i turned, he turned to look behind at something. dunno if purposely, or just coincidence. hmmm. then after that i realized i duwan, cz i was a bit scared. and din dare. then got into bus, my seat was the last. 9E. imagine!!!!so bumpy, but it was spacious.. hehe.anyway, after i sat down, and settle down, guess who comes and sits at the same row of seats. teik seong!. cz the last seat got 4 together ma. his seat was the other corner. mine at one side, his at the other. again, we din look at each other, i looked when he was looking at the window, dunno if he looked when i was looking at the window la.hehehhe. but its so odd and funny. he is still the same!that shy and good boy. i wonder where is he now!oh well, thats the story of my shy class mate in form 6. was he really shy?or just with us?prob thought the 3 of us were very annoying, and noisy, always laughing and making noise in class. hahaah.. or maybe he's gay. and he's shy of girls. he only opens up to guys. hmmm. maybe!!hahahahaha. i wouldn't know, any sasti guys who know him would prob give me a clearer picture.hehehehe

my new sandals:D

awww..so sweet.esther and phelo bought me this ipanema gizele bunchen sandals. very nice, comfy and pretty:)they so sweet la.hehehe..thanx esther and phelo:D






:)

dunia adalah sebiji epal

alangkah baik jika dunia ini adalah sebiji epal?

alangkah baik jika dunia ini adalah seperti sebiji epal?

alangkah baik jika dalam dunia ini, tiada apa-apa yang perlu dirisaukan, dan semuanya adalah semudah sebiji epal?

alangkah baiknya jika hidup kita adalah seperti sebiji epal?

alangkah baiknya..........

going back at 5pm later. dunno when am coming back. depending on our progress. sigh.!so depressing to think of that.

dumb course mate/group mate din reply my sms. asked him to send me assignment question via sms, cant even sms. Tues is our presentation. dumbass!!!!!!!

sigh.. natalya..natalya.. so worrying, with that coming up, scared to see my penasihat academic. cz um is quite the fucked up. one lec may say one thing, another may say something else. dunno which is right. i asked my old penasihat once, if i should take any other subjects in order to grad, he said no need cz i already took jazz 1, considered elective luar jabatan. now my course mates taking tak lempong. i din take. but dunno if my new penasihat(which is the dean of pusat kebudayaan) will tell me that i have to take that. i tell you, if that happens, i seriously will burn that old lec's house. cz of u i cant graduate this sem?hopefully he din make any mistakes while advising me!!!!my assignment questions are out. sigh!!

feeling like screaming!!dunno why!!dun worry, i wont simply scream. i haven't gone mad yet!!but just feel like doing it. my future is so foggy.. i dunno what i am going to do, where to work, what if i am jobless, what if i get fired?urghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

blue berry cheese tarts

INGREDIENTS:
Pastry:

83g butter, chilled
150g high-ratio/cake flour
40g icing sugar
10g milk powder,
1/4 tsp vanilla essence
1 Grade C egg

Filling:
250g cream cheese
2 tbsp corn starch, sifted
60g icing sugar, sifted
50g evaporated milk
3 egg yolks
Blueberry filling



METHOD:

To prepare pastry:
1. Sift flour, icing sugar and milk powder together into a mixing bowl.
2. Rub in butter until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.
3. Add in the egg and vanilla essence. Mix it until the pastry begins to form large lumps. Press together gently with your fingers until the pastry forms a ball.
4. Chill pastry dough for about 30 minutes.
To prepare filling:
1. Beat sifted icing sugar and cream cheese until light, creamy and smooth (with no lumps of cheese in the mixture).
2. Add egg yolks one at a time. When finish with the yolks, add in the remaining ingredient, except blueberry filling, and blend well.
To prepare egg tarts:
1. Press some pastry evenly into tart mould. Trim the edges to remove excessive dough. Prick base of each tart with a fork.
2. Fill tart with about a tablespoon of cheese filling. Top with blueberry filling. Spoon another 1-2 tablespoon of cheese filling to cover the blueberry filling. The filling should fill 95% of a tart.
3. Bake in a preheated oven at 160-180 degC for 15-20 minutes.
4. Leave the tarts in moulds for 10 minutes before turning onto wire rack to cool.

NOTES:
1. I believe the cracking of my cheese filling was caused by too high temperature of the oven. I used top and bottom fire throughout the baking. I suggest you to try using both fire at the first 10 minutes and then turn to bottom fire only later.
2. Another reason of the cracking could be due to the expansion of the blueberry filling during baking. Try to reduce the amount of blueberry filling if the fire direction does not overcome the problem.
3. Note that heating characteristic of every oven varies. Please adjust temperature, heat direction and cooking time of your oven accordingly.
4. You can also use raspberry, strawberry or chocolate fillings to replace the blueberry filling.

so here are the pictures of my tarts..it's really deliciousss!!!:P

and of course a lil bit of the introduction(ingredients):P


















:):)..so that was my Sunday.fruitful Sunday:)..now it's back to acting!and assignment!sheesh!

the mixed me!

trying my very best to memorize my script. it's going ok.. but am not satisfied with my character. sigh. so worrying. assignment questions are out. which means more work.. so fucked!with assignments, rehearsals, to study for exam., omgggggggggggg!!!!!and all those feeling inside me isn't helping. THANX R!!!!.

i dunno why, there is a feeling of sadness in me, a feeling of anger, disappointment, let down. i even feel rejected!wtf?i dunno why i am feeling like this. i'm trying very hard to let go. let go of everything.i wish i could just go to the top of a mountain and SCREAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!or just talk and talk and talk, even if no one listens, just let everything out!!!1i know, people around me prob get bored of me whining and might even try to avoid me, cz i am so bitter with everything around me. but i can't help it!!!!i wish i was made of stronger material. i wish i was tougher then now!!!!i wish for many things. sometimes i even wish that dream came true. quite tired!!!!i sometimes really wish that dream came true!to all my readers, if it does right, remember, WHITE LILIES YEAH?;P

anyway, i shall get back to my acting!!!i heard some comments from people. i am going to prove to everyone who once upon a time looked down on me, or is still looking down on me that I CAN ACT, AND I AM GOOD!!!!whoever who thinks i cannot, well, i dun care. but I WILL PROVE TO THEM THAT I CAN BE A GOOD ACTRESS!!!!!FUCK ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO LOOK DOWN ON ME!.ESPECIALLY YOU!!!YOU SAID IT MANY TIMES RIGHT ON MY FACE. DON'T FUCKING PRETEND YOUR SO GREAT. HELLO YOU PIECE OF SHIT, YOU CAN'T ACT FOR PEANUTS TOO OK?YOUR SO FUCKING KAYU!!!I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SAID THAT. SO DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING COMMENT ON ME!!!!YOU STUPID FUCKING WOMANIZER!!!JUST CZ YOU HAVE THE LOOKS, YOU THINK YOUR GOD?HELLOOOOOOOOOO????*SAMPAT PIAK PIAK PIAK*

gosh, that felt good!!!oh i know, i just broke one of my new year resolutions!. once in a while.heheheheh. it had to come out.

anyway, see you readers around, (if i have any) eeesh.. like so perasan. tomorrow is a busy day. baking tarts tomorrow. yayyy. hope its a success like the last. i know, i complained bout having no time and so stressed but i still got time to bake right?well to answer all of you, i am distressing. studying and reading the same thing isn't good. so i need to de stress by baking and knitting. so babai to all of you. au revoir!!:)(goodbye in french FYI)

p/s: my hdd is ok!!!stupid cheap casing!!!!dam you!!lucky aku punya data selamat. *allam dulilah*:P. bought a new good casing. :D. i shall take care of my hdd like how i take care of my computer. hehehehe

i am cacat

i was wearing Alice today. to come home. and realized my leg(jut below my toes. the bone there. very pain. like my shoes were too tight. it was turning red dy. quite hard to walk. at that point, i did think it was the shoes, cz i never had this problem with mahlindi and best is Mary Jane. most comfortable pair:) but anyway, i was quite worried cz i just bought it. of course wanna wear it more often ma. then i realized its NOT the crocs. because the other part of the foot no pain at all. super comfortable. then i realized i am handicap.. because i have an extra bone there.







see?see the red part.. yeah, i have an extra bone there.. nobody in my family has it. even my grandma once asked how come i have it. and u see, the problem now is, i cant get a size 8 of Alice, cz i tried 8, it was too big. as it is, now with my right foot smaller, also its coming out, what more 8. both my legs would be out of my crocs, but if i take 8, the bone part would be comfortable, but the behind part would not fit, and when i take(i took) size 7, behind all fit well, except the bone. so i am cacat!. i cant wear perfect fit for 7 and 8. sigh:(..dunno whats the solution. sigh!guess just got to wear it, and let my poor lil cacat bone hurt, cz alice is comfortable. i cant just not wear her!!!and she's so pretty. how can ijust not wear her right?sigh..orang cacat. dah la kaki kanan lebih kecil, sekarang ada tulang lebih pulak!ish ish ish!!!!!

alice peacock soo:)

i bought my 3rd pair of crocs. her name is alice peacock soo:)she is beautiful:)so now i am the mummy of mary jane club dip, mahlindi mango and alice peacock:)





beautiful isn't it?hehehehehe... next will be prima.hehe.. prob next year la. every year one pair ma:P

dunno why

facebook is in some weird language. dunno how to change it back.luckily i play a lot, so i memorize everything dy.hahahaha

tiredd!

just finished first rehearsal.. for scene 2,3, and 4. so tired. and so worrying. cant feel much. havent achieved that bitchy yet manja attitude yet. sigh. hopefully i can build more character. as my lec said, i cannot be adelle. they duwan to see adelle on stage. they want to see natalya. that real bitchy irritating manja daughter. got to work on that. but i think i can be a bitch?:P well hopefully lo.now waiting for time to fly. sis got lab now. going to digital mall at 7 with bebeh and cousin. to check my hdd.:(. wanna use wireless, since my laptop is with me, but right, dunno why cant access. cant even log in to the umissiweb now to check my password. sigh. lousy!!!

sigh

conversation took place in bilik jati 1, faculty sastera dan science social, at 10.15am, on 5th February 2009.

adelle: thank you dr

dr hanafi: ok, your welcome. err, adelle, come here.

adelle: yes dr?

dr hanafi: erm, why you taking this subject?didn't you take it last year?this is a second year paper right?

adelle:*smiles embarrassingly* err, actually dr, i failed the first time i took this subject. cz i wasn't feeling well on the day on exam. i only managed to answer one question.

dr hanafi: oh ok.. rugi la..you did not even do too well for methodology 2 years ago.

adelle: err.. got b+

dr hanafi: yeah, how come? i was shocked, because you are A material.

adelle: *smiles again*, i will try this sem dr.

dr hanafi: ok good. *smiles at me*

adelle: ok, thank you dr,*walks out of room*

i felt so embarrassed, and lie i disappointed my lec. everybody had hopes on me, and i let them down. sigh!!!!!i cannot let him down again. i must do well for his subject.. and all my other subjects.never knew lecs had high hopes on me. sigh...

this is me!!

so many things have happened in my life. it made me realize and discover many thins. the most important is i discovered myself. i discovered myself deeper and deeper. and to some people, you may not like what your gonna hear later, but that's me.

i am freaking sensitive. i am very sensitive towards people's tone of voice, how you msg, how you talk!even a simple smiley face can tell me something bout your mood etc!!

i am very hot tempered. i get angry and shout and raise my voice very fast, though i am trying to control it, but it's not something i can do over night.

i am very laid back.

i am not systematic. i am very disorganized. i am very slip shot at times.

i am very playful. i talk nonsense most of the time.

i dun save money.. i spend a lot. i am not money minded, or materialistic.

i simply give tihngs to people, i give a lot, which sometimes i feel i am stupid cz they dun appreciate what i give, neither do they give me back, and sometimes it hurts, but thats just my nature, i love giving things to people i love, and seeing the happy face in them. for some, it;'s not good. but thats me

i whine a lot. whine for nothing. i drama a lot.(hence the course i am studying). for some, it might be annoying. but hell, that's me again

i can be very hart hearted.. i dun cry easily.

i am stupid. i dun have brains. i dun have common sense. i am super blur. i am very dependent on people at times.

i am very stubborn. i have big ego. it's hard to say sorry at times.

i can be rude sometimes, and sarcastic. though i know it will hurt if someone said that to me, but at times, it just slips out. and i am sorry for being rude at times to anyone reading this blog. i am trying to control.

i am a very difficult person to live with. i admit, i am not an easy person.(not cz my expectations are high. my expectations are below average. i dun ask for a lot. all i ask for is to be loved unconditionally, and expect him to treat me well,like a queen. yes, i want that. if anyone has a problem with that statement, suck it!!!!!i dun ask anyone to buy me presents, or take me out for expensive food. i am NOT high maintenance. all i ask for is to love me for what i am, and not just my nice qualities. true love is when u can love that someone more for her flaws then her good points. if anyone cant accept their spouses flaws, but tells them they love them, that's BULLSHIT.thats NOT TRUE LOVE. so yeah, my expectations are not high at all).

but behind all those horrible flaws, i know i have qualities that it's hard to find in other women. i know i have great qualities. i am super caring, i am sensitive, i care for people's feelings, i love people, love is more and most important for me. not money!i will give my everything for people i love!i will do anything for people i love, and not think twice. i will make things for people i love, and it may not be perfect, but its the thought that counts. if i like someone, i wont worry or think twice to do anything for them. i am a great listener and adviser. i may not have the patience to do things, but when people tell me their problems, i can listen and advice them, and always wanna be there for them.

i can accept it when people tell me bout my flaws, BUT I CANNOT ACCEPT IT WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME I AM A LIAR, PEOPLE TELL ME THAT I BETRAY THEM, PEOPLE TELL ME THEY CANT TRUST ME!!!!WHEN I DID NOT DO ANYTHING. I CANNOT ACCEPT THAT. CZ I HAVE NEVER DONE ALL THIS BEFORE. PEOPLE HAVE BETRAYED ME, BUT I HAVE NEVER DONE IT AND WONT DO IT. THATS NOT HOW I HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP. I WONT DO THINGS LIKE THAT, BUT WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME THAT AND ACCUSE ME OF BEING THAT, I CANNOT ACCEPT IT!!THAT IS ONE THING I WILL NEVER ADMIT, CZ I NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG TO HEAR STUFF LIKE THAT. IF PEOPLE WANNA THINK OF ME LIKE THAT, SUIT THEMSELVES. GOD IS MY WITNESS, I NEVER DID ANYTHING. it hurts for me, but no, to everyone, it's ok right?i look stupid and naive, so everyone takes advantage of me right?everyone thinks that they can step on my head, or sit on it, shit and shit, then just walk away?right?thats how people treat me?i'm sorry, but i am not people's door mat or toilet bowl!i may keep quiet, but i am aware of it.

that unwrapped box of chocolates with marks on it, misshaped chocolates is still edible. it might look horrible, ugly, no shape, melted, but when u open it, and actually taste it, it still taste good, and it's a waste if you just throw away the whole box just cz it looks ugly.

class canceled

French class canceled. was waiting there like noob for more then 45 minutes wehn lec came in and said he is in meeting with dean. so class canceled. yayyyy!hahahaha.but hopefully no replacement!:P so am here blogging..while waiting to go out at 12pm later.

just blogging to pass time. waiting for class to start at 12. still worried bout my hdd. sigh. but all i know is my data is safe!. just cant open it. so got to change my casing. will invest on a good one after this. so broke, but its worth it la.

finally finished my mom's muffler. bind dy. now started on bebeh's one. very nice. maroon color. nice:)shall upload pictures soon k?maybe later at 4pm, when i got break. now no time, cz the connection isn fantastic.so update later.

R.I.P

i dreamt i died!!i saw my own funeral. i felt death(in my dream la of course).. weird weird weird.

it took place in a hospital. i was walking and wlaking, when i saw my friend holding his eyes(one eye).. i called him, and we talked. apparantly he was having some eye disease. we talked for a while, then came another friend of mine, who is the dr in the hospital. she came and talked to me a while. then another dr came, which was also my friend, came and talk, and insisted they do a check up on me, saying that there is a virus spreading. best to check. so i said ok. thinking i was fine, cz i din feel anything. when she checked my eyes, the 2 drs kept quiet, then she checked my nose(put smth inside my nose hole), and heard them mumbling and saying"not good, she's not going to make it". and the next scene i remember is i am lying on the hospital bed, and i felt relieve. no more pain, and i felt myself going off, slowly, but painless.

next was iwas watching my own funeral. with lots of people around. i saw my own body in a coffin. scary but weird!prob an angel dy la.hehehe to be witnessing my own funeral:P

dunno why i dreamt of this. weird huh?anyway, hope it's just a dream. sis said we will never know how we die one. hehe so it's just a dream. a weird weird dream!hehehe..

oh no!!!

wanted to watch private practice with sis yesterday night, and plugged in my hard disk drive, when something really weird yet scary happened. my laptop could not detect my hdd. it took dam long at first, then slowly the usb logo popped up at the side, but when i checked at "my computer" couldn't detect. waited for so long, but nothing. started to panic, restarted computer, tried few times, but nothing at all. tried plugging on sister's laptop, also couldn't. i used sis's hdd, plug into mine to see if my computer got problem, no problem. it worked fine. called cousin, he said not sure cz it's quite hard to check hdd, and asked me for all the particulars. but the best part is, i dunno what brand is it exactly, cz the casing is out. i tihnk its samsung. then i can't even remember the shop ibought it. no receipt, dunno where is the warranty. and the most worrying part, i am scared of loosing all my data. shitttt!!!all my photos, my assignments, important documents, music, english series, games. omgggggg!!!!!!!!

now waiting for hazreen to see what are the options. if cant, wil lgo with cousin to digital mall, and ask them and see.sighhhh!!!so worrying!!

:(

going back later.. *pu yau*.. i wanna stay at home, be a bum, laze..but i know. life isn't that easy. i got to go kick asses there..ok not literally,:P...but yeah. i got to go back, study hard, work hard for my final project, and be in the dean's list for the last time. i have to. i was only in dean's list once. i wanna be in it again.

so yeah, going back later. back to life again:(